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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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Superman & Lois Episode 3 Review: The Perks of Not Being a Wallflower

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This Superman & Lois review contains spoilers.

Superman and Lois Episode 3

“Morrissey’s a xenophobic has-been.”

This one line, delivered with deadpan perfection by Alex Garfin’s Jordan Kent pretty much sums up why Superman & Lois episode 3 is so good. Wait, really? Yes, stay with me for a minute…

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I loved the first two episodes of Superman & Lois. There’s no question about that. But there was a very slight nagging feeling in the back of my mind, that maybe this show was going to be a little too serious for its own good. That maybe in the process of making Jonathan and Jordan Kent as believable as possible, and as “relatable” (god, I hate that word) to young audiences as they needed to be, that the show would end up trying just a little too hard, get a little more wrapped up in its “family drama, but with Superman” high concept than it strictly needed to, and maybe forget to lighten up every now and then. I could excuse it in those first two episodes, which play like one feature length pilot when watched together, and which had a lot of work to do to get us to buy this very different take on the Man of Steel, but I wasn’t sure if the tone would sustain over a longer stretch of episodes.

And then along comes “The Perks of Not Being a Wallflower” to put those fears at ease. To be absolutely clear, this is absolutely not a drastic change in tone from what has come before. But now that we’ve gotten to know the Kents and their neighbors and classmates, and that the Smallville setting feels very much like the natural setting of the show, there’s a little more fun to be had. No, this isn’t suddenly The Flash and STAR Labs with a team of folks cracking wise at every opportunity, and it’s certainly not my beloved Legends of Tomorrow, but the humor is here, it’s subtle, and it works at every opportunity.

The opening scene with the family trying to paint the old Kent home is a charmer, a moment broken by Clark hearing a bridge collapsing in China which he speeds off to save. It’s another near-cinematic action sequence for this show, but the special effects aren’t really what sell this scene, it’s the moment of terror to relief to pure joy of a single fisherman as he realizes he’s witnessing Superman hold up a bridge…and Superman’s wordless interaction with him is equally joyful. This is something that simply hasn’t been done in live action interpretations of Superman since the Christopher Reeve years, and I honestly rank those few seconds with Supes and the fisherman as one of the best screen moments in the character’s history.

This episode is full of moments like that, even though Tyler Hoechlin once again spends most of his screentime as Clark rather than Superman. But even there, this is certainly Hoechlin’s finest performance as the character so far, bouncing effortlessly between Man of Steel to “Clark the superpowered dad dealing with problems new even to him” to “Clark who has to act like there’s nothing special about him.”

I worry slightly that Elizabeth Tulloch’s Lois Lane still doesn’t quite have enough to do as they build her Morgan Edge investigation through the Smallville Gazette. In every other aspect, moving the family to Smallville has worked, particular in regards to exploring completely new facets of the Clark/Superman dynamic, but Lois so far feels a little out of place. On the other hand, I should probably be thankful that they aren’t trying to “do a journalism” the way it’s so often been portrayed on Supergirl or The Flash, and maybe the slow burn is the more prudent move here. Anyway, it doesn’t change the fact that Tulloch is a delight in every scene, and she is quickly becoming the definitive screen Lois for me.

But the real highlights for this episode come in the form of Jonathan and Jordan, the two characters I was most skeptical about going into this show. I’ll confess, despite some terrific comics by the likes of Peter Tomasi, Patrick Gleason, Dan Jurgens, Brian Michael Bendis, Ivan Reis, and others in recent years, I’ve never been the biggest fan of the “Superman as dad” concept. I tend to like my Superman stories a little more unencumbered (or some might say traditional, but whatever). But Jordan Elsass’ Jonathan and Alex Garfin’s Jordan are just so darn likeable, and the story being written for them so compelling, that I can’t really complain.

The idea that Jordan would try out for the football team despite his burgeoning powers seems a ridiculous one, and I honestly thought that sequence was going to be revealed as a daydream (similar to Clark’s in the first episode of Smallville). But it’s real, and it doesn’t go quite where I thought it would. Jordan excels at football…as it turns out, he’s a bit more powered up than Jor-El suspected last episode. You’d naturally expect this to lead to friction with Jonathan, who has yet to get the hang of his new team, and for a brief period it does, but then the show does something unexpected.

This isn’t about football going to Jordan’s head or even about him “getting even” with the guys who have been bullying him. Instead, it’s the first time he’s felt part of something. After absolutely leveling Sarah Cushing’s boyfriend (well…ex-boyfriend now) on the field, he offers his hand and apologizes for that awkward kiss at the Shuster Mines. Jonathan, meanwhile, sees the good the team is doing for his brother and advocates for him with a Clark who is understandably annoyed that his son is using his powers to gain an advantage on the football field.

Batwoman Season 2 Episode 6 Review: Do Not Resuscitate

By Nicole Hill

Superman & Lois: Behind the Scenes of The New DC TV Show

By Mike Cecchini

I know, I know, this all sounds far weightier than the Morrissey joke I quoted at the start of this, but it all unfolds with a little charm, and some surprisingly light touches here and there. Jonathan and Jordan reacting to an incredibly awkward moment with Sarah and Lana, Clark overdoing his “dorky, eager dad” routine, and other little touches just make this feel like the show is settling into a rhythm with these characters and getting more comfortable being playful.

It’s perhaps a little worrisome that Wolé Parks’ mysterious Captain Luthor is nowhere to be seen this episode, with the only superhuman punch-up coming in the form of guest star Daniel Cudmore’s mysterious, nameless goon who makes the mistake of trying to take out Lois during her investigation. That leads to a really sharp (but quick) punch-up between him and Superman, with a terrific sequence where Superman freezes him with super-breath before delivering a perfect uppercut that would look right at home in a comic panel. If this show continues to work out creative ways to use Superman’s powers the way they have with Barry on The Flash, I think we’re gonna have some real fun in the coming episodes.

But then there’s that ending. As Lois asks, why DOES Morgan Edge have someone with super powers working for him? More than one, apparently, as Cudmore’s mysterious baddie is vaporized by a woman with heat vision named…Larr. So far, the formula for Superman & Lois seems to be to give us a family drama heavy episode, punctuated by moments of cinematic action, and then to close with a mind-bendingly cool reveal. Well, if they insist, who am I to argue?

Metropolis Mailbag

There’s not a ton of DC or Superman Easter eggs this episode, so I don’t think it’s necessarily worth its own post. But, here’s what I’ve got…

The bridge collapse scene does faintly call to mind Superman saving the Golden Gate Bridge during the earthquake in Superman: The Movie.

Jonathan telling Clark that “if you’re not actually allowed to be special” etc feels like a subtle nod to teenage Clark telling Jonathan Kent in Superman: The Movie that he could excel on the football field if he wanted to, which Jonathan forbids, saying that Clark isn’t here to “show off.” But that Clark’s answer was a philosophical “is a bird showing off when he flies?”

Cudmore’s nameless character is apparently “Subjekt-11” a designation which calls to mind “Subjekt-17” an alien raised by the Soviets to make Superman’s life miserable in Kurt Busiek and Carlos Pacheco’s incredibly underrated run on the Superman comics.

Sharon Powell may not be a character from the comics, but the folks at Kryptonsite used their X-Ray vision to point out that the actress who plays her, Jill Teed, was known for portraying Maggie Sawyer on Smallville!

Tyler Hoechlin finally gets to talk a little baseball on this show. Before going into acting, he was a baseball prodigy.

It seems that’s Morgan Edge’s right hand woman, “Leslie Larr” vaporizing our mysterious baddie. The closest I can find to her is a “Lesla Larr” who was an obscure Supergirl villain. THAT version of Larr hailed from Kandor (post shrinking) and she made Supergirl’s life miserable from time to time. I don’t expect this version of the character to have too much in common with her comics counterpart, but it seems like “evil Kryptonians” are definitely gonna be a thing on this show going forward.

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qqueenofhades · 5 years ago

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Hi there. I've been scrolling through your "school stuff" tag but thought I'd ask directly - how did you find the transition to actually moving outside of the U.S. for your PhD? I'm looking at something similar and I'm wondering about your experience with the logistics (finding somewhere to live, visa, etc!). Thanks in advance, and congrats on being a doctor!

Oh lord. Why would you do that to yourself? I feel like that tag is mostly just intense kvetching, bogglingly obscure nitpicking complaints, and existential despair, and/or yelling at various institutions and/or people who could not do their god damn jobs. If you have read that and still actually want my advice, I salute you. I’m presuming you’re asking in regard to the UK, since it’s the only experience I can speak on, so hopefully that’s applicable?

In my case, I studied in the UK for a year as an undergraduate, at Oxford, so I was already familiar with the process (at least somewhat) when it came time to do it again for the PhD. Upfront, we must acknowledge the ugly deformed rabid elephant in the room that is Brexit, and the idiotic reform of UK immigration policy currently ongoing. Long story short, they seem to think they can function without low-skilled migration, that the domestic UK workforce will just happily lark off to do the jobs that working-class EU migrants have been doing, that this won’t totally bomb-crater the NHS, that they can run a country by basically only allowing in PhDs in STEM making over £30,000 a year, etc… so yes, this is a complete joke of an immigration policy and it’s what happens when you elect floppy haired xenophobic douchewads and their nightmare party as prime minister! ANYWAY, they’re introducing a points-based system from 2021, which may not affect you for an application under Tier 4, but UK immigration policy is going to have a lot of very stupid reforms and you’ll want to keep on top of those. If you have an offer in hand from a UK university, it is made somewhat easier, but you’ll still need to budget for processing costs, an NHS subsidy paid in for every year you will be there (something like $300/year), and a trip to a UK visa office to have your fingerprints and biometric information taken. If you don’t live near one, that will be travel expenses and so forth. You then have a temporary visa issued for first entry into the country, and a Biometric Residence Permit which you pick up at your university.

That, at least, was the process the last time I applied for a student visa, and it may all have changed by the time you do it. As noted, there are a lot of upfront visa costs, so you’ll want to be aware of those. You need a number of supporting documents, including offer of study, proof of income or ability to financially support yourself (since most Tier 4 visas either don’t let you work or only work a limited number of hours), proof of English proficiency (as a native English speaker/person from an English-speaking country, you won’t need this), and so on. You can’t start the process before you have the offer, but you’ll want to start it as soon as possible afterward, because it can take several months, and obviously needs to be done before you can travel. You will also want to open a UK bank account as soon as you arrive, which can be done once you have your residential address and a certificate from the student services office at your university verifying that you are in fact a student there. It’s pretty difficult to pay out of non-UK accounts, at least for monthly/recurring transactions, and there are international fees. You will also want a UK phone. I still have my UK phone/phone number despite my current hiatus in America, since most carriers offer free or low-cost roaming in Europe (though subject to change with EU trade negotiations), which is nice. I pay only a little extra to have Global Roaming in North America, so I can still use my phone as if I’m in the UK. If you’re planning to be traveling, this is a nice perk to have.

As far as finding programs goes, I’m sure I don’t need to give you advice on what you’re interested in and where you’re looking. Obviously, universities in the UK are grouped as “Oxford and Cambridge” and “everyone else,” though there are also rankings within those. I have been at both of these; Oxford as an undergrad, and then I did my PhD at a large public university in the North that ranks within the top 10 in the UK. The North will be much lower, living-cost wise (actually, if you can swing it, just… don’t do it in London, the cost of living in London is out of control. Of course, if the program you really have your heart set on is in London, then go for it, but just be aware of what you’re getting into). It’s also a rule of thumb that you don’t go anywhere for a PhD unless they’re paying you. Don’t self-fund a PhD, it’s just too expensive, and any decent university will give you some kind of financial stipend. I had a scholarship that covered three years of full tuition at international rate, which was good, though I had to take out some living-cost loans. So if you’re trying to decide between two programs that have both accepted you, a situation I was also lucky enough to be in, it sounds crass, but: take the money. One university had already offered me the tuition/scholarship, while the other had accepted me but wasn’t sure about funding. So I took the one that paid the scholarship. You need every penny you can get. You will be comically, absurdly, unbelievably broke as a graduate student. I was looking back on it like “wow I really lived for four years on BUTTFUCK NOTHING.” It is not for the faint of heart; you will have financial stress along with academic pressure, and while I was lucky enough to have generous friends and family contributing to my living costs, I still barely scraped through. It is something you should be aware of.

I don’t know if you’ve studied in the UK system before (I’m assuming not), but the structure for a PhD is much less determined than in the American system. It will also vary from university to university, so it’s worth establishing contact with a potential faculty supervisor to ask questions and refine your project proposal. I made contact with my eventual supervisor at my PhD university before I actually applied there; I gave him my (much too broad and pretty unrefined) project proposal and what I was interested in, and he helped me tailor it into something that could be done in a feasible time frame and which would make use of his expertise and contribute to the field. Whatever you’re thinking about pitching as a thesis topic, you probably need to make it more specific. I don’t know what field you’re in; I’m a humanities/history person, obviously, so the rule always seems to be WRITE MORE, INFIDEL. But the point is, the UK system has much less structured time, and basically relies on you to have the self-motivation to go out and conduct the research and write it up, and if you’re someone more used to rigid requirements and classes and so forth, you might find it a little hands-off. If you’re like me and can just be set loose in your field of interest and do your own thing, you’ll like it. I feel like anyone who is serious enough about their subject to want to do a PhD has to be primarily self-motivating, but some people function better with clear guidelines, and those are not always forthcoming. I can’t count the number of times I wished my supervisors would just TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK TO DO, but they usually highlighted something and had me work to figure out how exactly to fix it. They weren’t negligent or uncaring or unsupportive, and the project became much better as a result, but yes, it’s on you to do, and it can again be frustrating.

As far as living, I didn’t try to rent a flat from afar, sight unseen, in my first year. I just registered for postgraduate campus housing, and lived with four predictably horribly messy roommates (why???!) before I managed to escape and rent a private flat for the next three years. You will need a guarantor with a UK address (i.e. not your parents in America) to sign on the lease agreement, especially if you fall below a certain income threshold, and go through the usual background checking and approval. If you want to have the place to yourself, it will be, as noted, much cheaper to find something you can afford in the North and not-London in general, though southern England and the London commuter belt will all be expensive. If you’re okay living with roommates, or you make friends during your program, it might work to room together and share costs, but I am a pathological introvert and don’t like people, so I lived by myself.

Anyway. Right now, I am in the second round of applications for a Big Deal UK postdoctoral award, which would be for three years starting this fall if I got it, at another high-ranking large public university in the south of England. (So yes, everything that I just said about how much it costs to live in London/London suburbs is me playing myself). I would be applying for a Tier 2 visa (i.e. the permanent/settlement track/full-time work visa) if I got this, which would be another barrel of laughs and different requirements from a Tier 4. That is definitely unhatched chickens which we can’t count yet, as this is a highly competitive/prestigious award and there is absolutely no guarantee that I would get it, but it would mean that I would go through the international moving/visa application process for a third time, so I would once again become too unfortunately familiar with whatever bullshittery is happening now. Le sigh.

I don’t know if any of that is helpful; hopefully so. Let me know if you have more questions, and good luck.

#school stuff #anonymous #ask

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scarletwitching · 6 years ago

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You said Jonathan Hickmans Avengers made you real mad? Could you (or have you) elaborate on that?

When I first sat down to answer this, I decided I should re-read the run, so that I could better articulate what bothered me about it. Then I tried to re-read it, and I quickly went, “No. That’s not happening.” I didn’t get very far, which is why this won’t be the most well-argued post.

The thing that made me so mad that I quit reading most regular Avengers comics was the last issue where Steve and Tony punch each other while the world ends.

Avengers Vol. 5 #44

It’s a terrible scene, and it puts me in mind of this article about The Force Awakens.1

When you’ve actually invented a tragedy that’s hundreds of thousands of times bigger than the Holocaust (in a film that prominently references Nazis) only in order to threaten that they’re about to do it again, in a matter of seconds, YOU CANNOT ASK YOUR AUDIENCE TO CARE THAT SOME GUY AND HIS SON ARE WASTING THOSE ESSENTIAL SECONDS HAVING A MOMENT ON A BRIDGE.

No. You cannot. That is a fatal flaw. That is an inversion of stakes so monstrous that it makes the film actually despicable.

The world stops when two white men need to hash out their feelings.

I found the way Steve and Tony’s relationship was handled towards the end of that book to be uncomfortable and bad. “You lied to me!!!!11” Okay? Aren’t you guys supposed to be heroes? Shouldn’t you be focused on saving all the life in the universe? Who approved this characterization?2 Who thought this was a good idea? Why am I supposed to care about this when the world is ending? It seems like Hickman was just using their relationship (and the precedent set by Mark Millar) as an excuse to write them, particularly Steve, in the most unlikable way possible. ‘Oh, you know Steve and Tony. They’re just evil when they’re together.’

Over the past couple of decades, Marvel has decided that everyone is deeply invested in that dynamic, and I just… don’t care about it. That’s not to say that no one cares about it. We all have different tastes, and that’s fine. But that relationship is not for me, and it’s so overexposed that I don’t want to read comics about it anymore. Hickman’s Avengers was my breaking point. After that, I decided no more Steve and Tony, if they’re going to act like that around each other. Even if they aren’t, I still need a break. A years-long break.

…and then there was the part where the Avengers went to a sovereign nation, broke into the home of some civilian refugees fleeing a genocide, and beat them up. This is getting a little long, so I’ll put the rest under a cut.

Infinity #1

It’s exactly what I said. They went to Italy (Hawkeye now speaks perfect Italian for some reason). They broke into an apartment inhabited by refugees who had fled a genocide. They had been (illegally??) spying on the refugees, but hadn’t tried to piece together any information about them as individuals or their situation. There’s no evidence that the refugees hurt or even bothered anyone. But the Avengers broke down their door, and without putting any actual effort into a peaceful solution, beat them up and arrested them.

This was written in 2013. Not that there’s ever a good time to write this, but wow, this was written in 2013.

Oh, and Infinity’s final issue has this aside:

Infinity #6

There’s a counterargument here that the Skrulls are just aliens, and it’s not that serious. My counterargument to that counterargument is Secret Invasion. Secret Invasion is the most famous modern Skrull story, and it is the context a Skrull story from 2013 would be understood in. It’s also an Islamophobic metaphor where the Skrulls are religious extremists who want to take over Earth and who keep saying “jihad” for some reason, despite being aliens. I don’t think the Skrull scene from Infinity is as bad as Secret Invasion, but it’s also not good.

This scene speaks to deeper problems I have with Hickman’s Avengers run. He takes an authoritarian angle with the team. The Avengers aren’t just superheroes in his vision. They’re imperialist ICE agents. When I think about Hickman’s work, I always come back to that first issue of Ultimates he wrote, where no female characters speak and the most important on-page role a woman has is to give an Important Man™ his coffee.3 That issue ends like this:

Ultimate Comics: Ultimates #1

Once upon a time, the Avengers answered to bureaucrats. Now, everything is SHIELD, and presidents defer to superheroes. For some, this is a subtle change, a difference in details they don’t care about. To me, it fundamentally alters the nature of the team and the world they reside in. I can root for an Avengers team that has to steal a bus because their security clearance was taken away.4 I have a much harder time rooting for Hickman’s authoritarian god-men who hold the fate of all life in their hands, but choose to be petty and insular.

For Hickman, it’s an Avengers’ World, but an Avengers’ World is not one I’m interested in. It flattens the overall texture of the Marvel Universe, and it does a disservice to the Avengers themselves. They are much less relatable, likable, and human when it’s an Avengers’ World.

This is the point where I have to say, “Maybe we’re supposed to know that the Avengers are bad in this, and that’s the point.” I’m not sure how much I believe that though. Do I think Hickman thinks everything they’re doing is good and right? No, but he doesn’t do a good enough job of analyzing and critiquing their actions within the narrative to justify things like the Skrull scene. Depiction =/= endorsement, but you should be saying something greater than “these characters do bad stuff sometimes.” I’m not convinced Hickman’s Avengers has much self-awareness or commentary.

I don’t agree with the fandom line of thinking that Big Two characters are sacred and we should never do anything that might be negative with them. There are, for example, criticisms of Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch’s Ultimates that begin and end with, “They made Captain America a xenophobe, and that’s bad because Captain America is supposed to be a good guy.” I don’t see it that way. There are problems with Ultimates, but it’s an alternate universe that ought to be allowed an alternate take. Writers should be allowed to say something, via a character called Captain America, besides “Steve is nice.” It matters how it’s handled though, and I’m not sure it’s even worth it to try. There is so much emotional investment in these characters that it’s difficult to make sharp political statements with them.

Going back to depiction vs. endorsement, we’re supposed to know Millar and Hitch’s Ultimates are bad people, but that doesn’t make the sexism (or the outdated Freddie Prinze Jr. references) any less real. That book is trying to say something, and it aims to be a satire. But it lacks the necessary tact and finesse to make that work.

To steal from someone else’s Hickman critique: “That’s the point.” “That doesn’t make it better.”

Worst of all, Hickman’s Avengers made me feel bad for Rick Remender. His run on Uncanny happened concurrently with Hickmanvengers, and Remender made a big deal of pushing back against the narrative that had come out of Avengers vs. X-Men about the Avengers being jack-booted thugs. To the point where he had Captain America say, “We’re not jack-booted thugs” in the first issue.

Uncanny Avengers Vol. 1 #1

And then along came Hickman screaming, “Never mind!! Yes, they are!!!” Imagine trying to make a point about the Avengers not being authoritarian assholes while someone else is writing this in a different title:

Avengers Vol. 5 #35

You can tell Remender wasn’t pleased because he got salty about being negatively compared to Hickman in the Uncanny Avengers annual. In true Remender fashion, it was inappropriately salty, but I understood where he was coming from.

Uncanny Avengers Annual 1

Let me be clear: No one is lesser because they like Hickman’s Avengers. It’s not a reason to insult someone. Remender is being facetious (and kind of a jerk) here. But there is some truth in poking fun at the “indecipherable mysteries.” I’ve already talked some about what’s wrong with Remender’s criticism, so I won’t dwell on this too much.

Overall, Hickman’s tastes and mine seem diametrically opposed. I prefer smaller casts and stakes. I like personal, character-driven stories about women. I want nuanced characterization and subtle, organic character development. And I don’t get any of that from Hickman’s work. Some people find his character arcs compelling, but I don’t. The Steve/Tony dynamic in his run is so over the top and inauthentic that it would be comical if it weren’t so annoying. I read a Hickman comic, and I just see nonsense words and no real emotions. It’s all Important Men™ and the women who bring them coffee.

Anyway, the best thing about Hickman’s Avengers is that Wanda isn’t in it. We dodged a bullet there. A true W for the home team.

1. I don’t care about Star Wars. Please do not yell at me about Star Wars.

2. It was Tom Brevoort. It’s always Tom Brevoort.

3. Someone’s gonna tell me to read East of West. No, I haven’t read East of West. I’ve heard he handles the female characters in that better, but I couldn’t say whether or not that’s true.

4. The bus scene still has them kicking everyone else off, but it gives those people a voice, however briefly. The Avengers are still people in that scene. They’re not an absolute authority with power over everyone else.

#the chaos magics #answered

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thaumaturtles · 6 years ago

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Epilogue Thoughts

So, I finished the epilogues at around 11 AM on 4/21 and spent the better part of today mulling over it internally. Overall, I think I liked ‘em. Don’t get me wrong, they were brutal and tragic and ripped my heart out, but this is my garbage and I’m allowed to enjoy it. I was planning on liveblogging the epilogues but constantly pausing to jot down my feelings detracted from the overall experience. This is probably gonna be pretty scattershot, since I have neither the ability nor the desire to order my thoughts properly. Now, without any further preamble, let’s get into it.

Jane

A lot of people said they didn’t like the treatment of Jane in the epilogues, and, fair enough, she was pretty awful and Crocker stans have every right to be pissed. But to anyone saying it came out of left field or didn’t make sense, I’d have to disagree (for the most part). Jane was brainwashed by the Condesce for the first 16 years of her life, and we see the effects of this when she goes Crockertier. She’d almost certainly have baked-in presumptions about how trolls were “meant to be” (ie super violent) even before she was consciously aware that trolls as a race existed. Jane was also always really in denial about having been brainwashed by the Condesce and I can definitely see adult Jane flat-out refusing to do any self-analysis and just assume there are no remaining effects of the brainwashing and she’s “totally cured” now or whatever. Jane’s also not super progressive? Like the conversation where she discovers Dirk has a crush on Jake and that Jake might even reciprocate was pretty uncomfortable to experience, and she starts a business on Earth C even though there’s no real need for corporations in a world with infinite resources. This shows that she’s still stuck in the belief that capitalism is inherently good/necessary for no reason other than “it’s what i grew up with.” All in all I could totally see Jane as someone who’d grow up to become xenophobic and have this colonizer mentality of “I have to regulate the Other because they’re not capable of functioning without me”

As for the non-consensual/rapey stuff... I’m actually not gonna touch that shit with a six-foot pole. The narrative is very explicit in the fact that Jane is an abusive partner and what she’s doing Is Bad, but like if she’s your favourite character you probably aren’t going to be all gung ho about seeing her do all the things that she did, which were admittedly very upsetting to read. I completely understand if you couldn’t read past those parts because they were pretty rough.

The Epilogues do get pretty unpleasant to read though :/

The Epilogues are highly antagonistic towards Homestuck’s readers. This is a fact. Whether this is a good or bad thing is up to interpretation, but it is at the very least not a new thing. Listen to Kate Mitchell of the Perfectly Generic Podcast and YouTuber OptimisticDuelist for more in-depth analysis than I could possibly provide on this, but one of Lord English’s greatest weapons is his ability to get people not to care about Homestuck, or even better, to revile it. That’s what the aspect of Rage represents: Plot Contrivance. As Karkat says,

THERE ARE OUTCOMES THAT ARE EVEN WORSE THAN THE COMPLETE ANNIHILATION OF EXISTENCE ITSELF. FORCES MORE DAMAGING TO THE INTEGRITY OF REALITY THAN THOSE CAPABLE OF TURNING IMAGINATION INTO PURE VOID. THEY ARE FORCES WHICH IF HANDLED RECKLESSLY WILL NULLIFY THE BASIC ABILITY OF INTELLIGENT BEINGS IN ALL REAL AND HYPOTHETICAL PLANES OF EXISTENCE TO GIVE A SHIT.

This is repeated, by Hussie himself no less, later on during his smug self-insert, found here. After Hussie dies and loses control of the narrative, LE is free to try his hardest to get you, the reader, not to give a shit. Rose, in the Epilogue’s Prologue, says that if people stop caring about Homestuck, reality as they know it will break apart, which is exactly in line with LE’s plans. So the fact that the Epilogues are very hostile towards the reader is basically par for the course. That said, I can see how it kinda sounds like I’m being all “oh it’s SUPPOSED to be shitty you wouldn’t underSTAND,” but that’s. literally what’s happening. and there’s evidence for it in the text.

Of course, in the past, when the narrative would pull things like this it would be under the guise of, say, Homosuck, which is very obviously meant to be bad and is presented in a fun, satirical way. The Epilogues, on the other hand, are downright upsetting. They’re presented in a much grittier light, which can obfuscate to what degree it’s Actually A Joke, if it even is a joke in any capacity. The fact that they’re tragic, though, should not be seen as evidence that they’re bad.

Some stuff I Liked

Both routes had some really top-notch interactions in them. A lot of folks seem to be overlooking how genuinely good the writing was. I said the phrase, “they’ve still got it” ALOUD to myself once or twice because the dialogue really did have that good ole Homestuck Charm. The Dave/Karkat/Jade interactions early on in Candy (before everything went to shit) were pretty great, as was basically everything that came out of English’s mouth. I dunno who the Antiquities Consultant was, but they did an excellent job at mirroring Jake’s usual speech pattern. I find that a lot of people, when writing Jake, just kinda throw in as many random old-timey words as possible and as a result it feels kinda disjointed, but the writing team for the epilogues managed to make him feel very... would light be a good way to put it? Sort of airheaded I guess. Just very goofy idk

We got to see Rosemary and they were married and raised a kid and it was the best! Rose was really well-written, as was Kanaya; I really loved seeing those personalities balance each other out again. It was nice to see them be good parents in the Candy-verse. The Vriska they raised was such a fucking scamp too! It was nice to see a Vriska who had a positive home environment but still had that same spunk

Also, Dave. Just, all of Dave. He was really solidly written throughout the whole thing. I fucking love his interest in the economy holy shit. I got to hear Dave Strider say the phrase “neoliberal austerity measures.” That’s the best. “Economically Aware Anti-capitalist Dave” is rivaled only by “Karkat (True Leftism)”. I’ve seen a few complaints that Dave’s interest in the economy was also OOC, but for one thing he’s an adult and can cultivate new interests if he likes, and for another Dave is a pretty clever kid, and very numerically-minded. (Is that a term? I mean he’s good at maths and such). Don’t forget, not only did he manage to accumulate all the wealth on LOCAH in the span of three days by taking over their stock markets, but he also used the hash map modus in his day to day life, showing that he was able to do calculations in his head as quick as breathing. As shown here, the hash map modus is pretty complex and requires you to come up with a word that has the same value as the thing you wanna use in order to use it. That’s not easy to do on a dime and yet he uses it in his rooftop battles with Bro. All of this is to say, he’d certainly learn to be very good at economics if he wasn’t already. It just suits him.

Oh and I also love that Dave still makes SBaHJ and Karkat has a bunch of sockpuppet accounts he uses to defend Dave’s honour. it’s very cute.

Karkat also had some lines in the epilogues damn. I hadn’t realized how starved I was of VantasRage until I read a few of his rants. Also we finally got to see Badass Rebel Leader Karkat and he’s just as great as we all knew he’d be

The davekat kiss in Meat was great too. It was very gratifying to see after all the narrative cockblocking that went down in Candy.

John realizing in the Candy universe that he isn’t responsible for everything and that they’re all still just people with their own autonomy was good. Much as I have problems with the Candy universe on a whole I liked this specifically.

Also, roxygen! I love roxy/callie as much as the next guy but John and Roxy were very cute near the end of the comic and I liked seeing them grow up and have a kid. John names his son after the guy from Night Court because he’s a massive dweeb. Love it.

We got some great Terezi writing as well. The johnrezi at the end of Meat was nicely written and made me feel a whole host of emotions despite me not even having shipped them that hard beforehand.

OH MY GOD THE OBAMA SHIT. I almost forgot to put this in because I was focused on other stuff but my word the whole Obama Situation was beautiful I loved every second of it. It was so over-the-top in the best way and it simultaneously carried airs of being So Serious And Important To The Narrative and being just the dumbest load of crap. I loved it so much

Also, I was very happy with Roxy and Callie coming out. Roxy talking about how he’d already come out as dating an alien with a green skull for a head and how it felt like maybe he was being “selfish” by also wanting to come out as trans was a great illustration of something that already-out LGB people often feel when realizing they don’t identify with their assigned gender. Additionally, Calliope coming to terms with the fact that they don’t have to identify as female just to further differentiate themselves from Caliborn was great. It really helped to show how far they’d come from just being Caliborn’s foil into being their own person. However, this leads into:

Some stuff I didn’t like

Speaking of Roxy and Callie’s transition, Dirk also came out. As a transphobe. Which was disappointing, to say the least. He made a point of misgendering Roxy as often as possible and was pretty dismissive towards NB people when he learned about Calliope’s identity. (You could make an argument that Dirk is being thoughtless by misgendering Roxy and not intentionally malicious, but I don’t see Dirk as the kind of guy who slips up very often. He’s very careful with language.) I always headcanoned Dirk as trans, as I’m sure most people did, so having him just up and become transphobic was kind of the worst. I intend to talk about Epilogue!Dirk a lot more in a later post but yeah. Not a fan.

EDIT: I’ve thought about the Dirk thing a little more and he does eventually start calling Roxy by the correct pronouns, albeit in kind of a “see see look at how openminded im being youre such a manly dudely stud bro” way. Dirk’s initial discomfort with Roxy and Callie’s identity more comes from his own egotistical belief that he should have already known about it than it does from genuine animosity. That aside, he does still say “She probably would have loved being a “they” when she was a teen,” which sorta rubs me the wrong way. I might just be being oversensitive though.

Also, in the Meat universe, Rose and Kanaya split up! I’m very upset about that. Ultimate Power be damned, I want happy, married lesbians! It sucks that we either have Rosemary OR Davekat but not both

On the topic of davekat, Jade really got done dirty by both Epilogues, huh? She was used as a narrative device in one and was an intrusive presence in the lives of Dave and Karkat in the other. TBH I was never a fan of davekatjade for a lot of reasons but I would have preferred they be in a happy poly relationship than what actually happened in Candy.

Actually, the only two polyamorous relationships in the Epilogues both turned out awfully. I doubt any of the writing staff had anything against poly people; I’m sure it was just a coincidence but either way it’s pretty unfortunate. I have a bit to say about this but this is running too long as is.

Gamzee

Fucking Gamzee.

Unanswered Questions

Will there be any further updates? I sure hope there will, because the ending was not very satisfying and creates more questions than it answers. I can sort of see where it might be going but they left way too much up in the air and it feels very much like it’s unfinished. V has referred to it as “the whole thing” on twitter, so it might be finished for good, but i really hope it isn’t

Why did Rose say the session they’re creating will be the most important session of SBURB ever played? Why couldn’t they play it on Earth C? Surely Earth C’s inhabitants would be more used to seeing alien life forms and would know the basics of SBURB, thus making it more likely for them to survive it. Why go to the trouble of seeding a whole new planet? I’m curious.

Can a character be said to be “Out Of Character” if the character’s own creator wrote those actions? What if they passed on the actual writing to someone else but still had to verify it themselves? What does OOC even mean? Does it mean “this doesn’t fit my headcanon” or “there is no evidence for this” or “the author wouldn’t write them like this”? If it’s the last one, can an author merely saying “this interpretation is correct” absolve ANY action from being deemed OOC? I like that I’m being made to think about this kind of thing now

To what degree is each universe truly “Canon”? I’m aware that Candy lost its canon-ness when John decided not to fight LE, but the two universes are intrinsically linked: we see characters from one universe travel to another and it’s implied that Terezi has spoken to both Johns. How canon is Meat, even? Are either of them even still bound by the need to be part of the Alpha Timeline anymore, since Lord English has been created? What does anything mean?

Final Musings

I understand completely if you don’t like the epilogues. Maybe you think they’re too dark. Maybe you just don’t agree with portrayals of the characters. Maybe you hate that they gave jade a fucking tail when she never had one in the main comic. There certainly were bits of it that I wasn’t a fan of, but there are also parts I really wanna go draw fanart of right now. I like the Epilogues, but if I write fanfic or make dumb joke posts about Earth C, I’m probably gonna ignore large swaths of it (such as, I’ll probably keep both John and Dirk alive, and make them kiss a lot)

There has been a great deal of vitriol directed specifically at Hussie about the epilogues despite the fact that other people worked on them. It’s difficult to take these criticisms in good faith when so many people are blaming solely Hussie. I’m aware that he had total control over actual plot elements and wrote a bit of dialogue, but the bulk of the actual text was written by V. Another thing I’ve noticed is that people’s attitudes towards the epilogues are very much like the general attitude towards Act 7 when it first came out. I’ll admit, I left the Homestuck fandom in like 2014 and didn’t return until mid-2017, but people’s Jimmies were definitely still Rustled even then. There was a general atmosphere of “I hate Hussie, and you should too! The ending was bad and no one asked for it!” but as time went on, and people started analyzing the ending and making meta posts about it, everyone sort of grew acclimated to the ending. Suddenly, the general consensus was that Homestuck was Good Again Finally and the ending was Amazing and The Fandom Loved It. I feel like maybe that sort of thing’s gonna happen again with the Epilogues. I really hope that, as it continues to update (if it does), everyone will sort of chill out about it

#homestuck #homestuck analysis #epilogues #epilogue spoilers #tw rape mention #i really felt roxy's hesitance to come out because i also feel like this sometimes? i'm not too sure what i really id as #and any degree of introspection makes me feel pretty guilty #like im already bi why do i need to be genderweird too #that was a lil too personal so i didnt put it in the main post #also im definitely gonna make more posts about this im not even close to being done talking #long post

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tessatechaitea · 5 years ago

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Team Titans #23

Redwing must have been furious when she didn't make the Birds of Prey roster.

The good news is that I'm almost done reading all of the Team Titans comic books I own. The gooder news is that I'm almost done reading all of the New Titans comic books I own! The most goodest news of all is that I'm still alive somehow. Although that's only good news in the sense that, by being alive, I can appreciate being alive. The news that I were dead would be just fine with me as well because I wouldn't have to hear it. The good news about the bad news of my death is that none of you would hear of it either! You'd all just believe that I got bored of writing comic book reviews and went off to live on a beautiful tropic island full of kittens. After I finish reading Team Titans and New Titans, I'll have to dig out another old series to reread. I'm excited to find out what it will be! I was on Twitter earlier and was perplexed by this person's response to a Tom King tweet. If a smarter reader than me could explain what he meant, I'd truly appreciate it!

My current theories: 1. He's just a Trumpist and knows Tom King isn't a white supremacist asshole so he simply assumes this tweet is somehow mocking Trump. 2. The Tweet didn't delve inside the mind of the protagonist thus relying too much on the reader using their own mind to form conclusions of the protagonist's intent, making it a 'difficult' read. 3. The person replying probably just responds this way to all of Tom King's tweets because Batman isn't punching enough villains these days.

This issue begins with Jensen practicing some of his beat poetry.

Snap! Snap! Snap!

Audience nods smartly while puffing nonchalantly on long cigarettes.

Redwing has transformed into a woman with the head of a bird and huge talons on her hands. If any of these Team Titans had a romantic interest in her, they'd probably be thinking, "Did her anus, vagina, and urethra just merge into a cloaca?" But apparently none of them do have that kind of interest because none of them are currently throwing up the way I am after having that thought. But now I'm also thinking of Hawkman and Hawkwoman's sex talk. "Let's kiss cloacae, baby!" While everybody tries to pretend Redwing is still the same person she's always been (except grosser), Chimera reminds the Team Titans that other totally-not-monsters-just-because-they-look-like-human/animal-hybrid creatures are trying to kill them. For some reason, Redwing attacks the other Team Titans. Maybe she's just trying to get them to admit that they all think she's a monster now. If that was her plan, it works because Lapidus is all, "If you're intent on proving you're as much a monster inside as well as out, then you'll have to go through me!" Idiot! You're not supposed to say she looks like a monster to her face! You're supposed to act more like her brother Prester Jon and avoid eye contact and tugging at the inside of your shirt collar and mumbling things like, "Yikes!" At least that allows you to deny your true feelings when she confronts you about why you're acting so weird.

Me at prom.

Sometimes I completely understand that I'm reviewing comic books that never wanted me as an audience. I don't care what young person is infatuated with what other young person, or how much bullshit drama one member of the team can create for no reason at all. If I was, I would be a fan of the Legion of Super-heroes. So if I hate this comic book with such passion that I've certainly spontaneously created at least five kidney stones within me, it really shouldn't reflect on the comic book at all. I'm sure somebody cares that Killowat has a crush on Mirage but he's also a racist piece of shit. I'm sure somebody cares that Terra has littered the Troy Family Farm with stone dildos because Changeling won't fuck her. I'm sure somebody cares that Prestor Jon has an issue with his sister because she doesn't look as human as she used to (while it's okay for him to look like Stretch Armstrong). But that someone is not me. I don't think it ever was me. Half the comic books I own were purchased because of simple momentum. I bought the first issue and felt compelled to buy the second issue and, well, fuck it? Why not just keep buying them no matter how terrible they were?! I know that doesn't say anything positive about my decision making but then I've also never claimed to be good at making decisions. The fact that I read every comic book of The New 52 for six or seven years proves that! Prester Jon refers to Qurac as "hell on Earth" which Chimera has opinions on.

"Hell! What a western concept! But, I mean, you're right and I'm going to go along with that characterization so I don't even know why I pointed that out!" I didn't say she had strong opinions on it.

Chimera mentions that she last met the Team Titans in Team Titans Annual #1. Fuck! I didn't review that issue! I'm sure I own it but it might be stored with all of the Bloodlines Annuals. Well, I guess I can review it whenever I find it during my reread of all of my thousands of comic books from the last forty years!

It's true that I never expected Peter David's Aquaman but I certainly wasn't waiting for it.

Prester Jon tries to discover what caused Redwing's transformation (as well as that of the human/animal hybrids outside) while a young Quraci girl looks at Redwing and cries. I think it's supposed to be touching how the little girl can't communicate but she can feel emotions. Although it would be better if she could communicate because, for some reason, she knows the entire backstory as to how and why people became mutant animal monsters. Something about how aliens crashed in the desert and Circe saw they could be used to make human/animal hybrids but some of the aliens died in the desert and when Cheshire nuked Qurac, the aliens were atomized and everybody breathed in cremated alien space DNA. It's totally the kind of thing a little girl would know all about. Chimera shows Killowat and Terra that the Americans have come to Qurac to save the oil and not the people. That sets off Killowat's Angry Right Wing Logic Centers.

Oh? Is criticizing America's foreign policy of protecting investments considered politically correct? Although doesn't this anger and argument seem tame from a 2019 perspective?

Anybody who begins an argument with "I refuse to believe" is a person with whom I immediately stop arguing. It's a great opening tactic because I appreciate your desire to not waste my time by immediately revealing that you won't be listening to facts and evidence. Also, "I refuse to believe America would rape a country of its resources at the expense of saving the people" may as well be a declaration that you spent most of your time in history class yelling, "Nyah nyah nyah nyah! I can't hear you!" Not that America's public educational system was particularly great at exposing America's imperialistic abuse! There's definitely a reason right wing thinkers believe college educations turn people into leftists. Because it does! Leftists are just rational people who aren't viewing the world through the lens of preconceived opinions! College educations are less about broad generalizations and more about trying to put history in as much context as possible. Patriots are often as blind as people of faith. One of the conditions of being faithful is to not question your faith. It's right there in the word! So any examination of your faith is questioning that which you shouldn't question. Being a patriot is the exact same thing. If you question our government, you're against our government. There's no belief in trying to improve our government because it's an acceptance of flaws in the United States. Of course now that's simply become a way to not ever question anything a Republican does because obviously everything any Democrat does is completely wrong. It's believing in tribe over anything else. I am not a Democrat because I believe whatever the fuck every Democrat believes. Hell, I'm not even technically a Democrat! I am liberal, sure. But I don't support any idea or belief from what would be considered my tribe. And neither are a lot of liberals which is why you have trouble with Democratic voter turnout. Every Republican nominee is practically interchangeable. As long as they spout the handful of talking points important to the accepted base (2nd amendment, anti-abortion, Christian values, white supremacy...I mean states rights!), they'll do. But Democrats have the constant fight over whether a candidate will lose voters if they move left away from center while hardly ever acknowledging how many votes they'll gain as they move left. I've always said they should abandon all those assholes at the center. If you're only voting Democrat because you support their social views but don't want higher taxes maybe you're actually a Republican. Because if the Democratic party moves further left and you abandon it because of taxes to side with the gun toting fetuses who support locking up refugees on our southern border, who the fuck wants you at that party anyway?! Back to the comic book, the Team Titans speculate that the cremated alien DNA has combined with the tainted oil in Qurac and the metagenes in certain individuals to transform them into monsters. So now they've got to destroy all of America's profits by making sure the oil isn't sold all over the world. Killowat is all, "I can't believe we're going to save the world at the risk of America's profits!" I mean, he doesn't say that explicitly. But I can read between his racist and xenophobic lines.

Finally an argument that wins him over!

Look, I get being resistant to truth! Whenever I brush my teeth, I can't help thinking about the Barney song where they mime brushing with huge toothbrushes and sing, "While I'm brushing my teeth and having so much fun, I never let the water run!" And then I just let the water run! I know, I know. I'm a fucking monster! Terra and Killowat solve the problem by putting the contaminated oil back into the ground. That seems scientifically sound enough that I won't bother questioning it like a college-educated leftist. But Killowat assures Chimera that she hasn't won the argument even though her argument was simply, "Maybe you should question your government sometimes, idiot." Meanwhile the animal people attack the other Titans upstairs. The Titans can't kill them because they were once people (although I guess if they had always been sentient monster people, it would have been okay to kill them? Sometimes I'm not entirely sure of comic book superhero rules). They solve their problem by sending them into a Fairy Land via one of Chimera's portals. She was hesitant to do it earlier because she didn't know if what transformed them was catching. But now that Prester Jon somehow did science and figured out what happened, everybody agrees it's okay to banish them to a world where they'll never see their loved ones again and nobody will work out how to save them and they'll probably just turn on each other when they get hungry. Superman throwing every villain into the Phantom Zone has left a terrible example for young heroes to follow!

Oh the 90s! When every time anybody said anything, you had to wait a few seconds to see whether or not they really believed what they just said!

Later Killowat acts like a total jerk. But he acts like a different kind of total jerk than he usually acts like. So after he's done, he says, "Whoa! What just happened?! Is that shadowy person on the ground hiding behind the tree controlling me?! And who might it be?! ZERO HOUR!" Team Titans #23 Rating: B-. They sure used to pack a lot of story and words into comic books, didn't they?! And for only $1.95! That's two dollars less than the crappy comics DC puts out today that have four less pages and far less story every month! And it's three dollars less than Marvel books! No wonder Marvel is more popular. People probably look at the price and think, "Whoa! I'm getting a whole dollar more quality out of this comic book than that stupid DC comic book!" It also might help that Marvel doesn't mind having synopses of the story to help new readers or old readers whose memories aren't that great anymore. DC refuses to do the same, instead relying on the writer wasting two or three pages of actual story where characters think about what happened in the previous issue. A lot of DC books suck in collected formats!

#Team Titans #Teen Titans #DC Comics #DC #Comic Book Review

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nessiana · 6 years ago

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thoughts about the hs epilogues

this discussion post will contain spoilers for both the Candy and Meat routes of the homestuck epilogues, so read at your own risk (also there’s discussion of heavy topics like suicide and genocide, so please take notice of this Content Warning)

My takeaway from the epilogues

In Homestuck, there are many doomed timelines that are seen or referenced, which are all different in some way from the main timeline, but are still essential for the plot. Some character from them or an event that occurs is necessary to further the plot in the main timeline, and as a result the doomed timeline remains significant to the plot, even if it's never revisited.

That's what I think is the case with the epilogues. Terrible things happen in both timelines, yes, many of which I'd certainly hope would not occur in the real, canon timeline. But the mere fact that there are two parallel timelines in this story, each with references to the other, means that neither is the real timeline. However, I believe the events described in the epilogues are real within the structure of Homestuck, even though they are framed as outside of canon, because they set up certain things that are necessary for the plot of whatever is coming next. (Davebot in candy, and Rosebot in meat, as a major example).

The duality between the meat and candy decision is a deception. Those are not the only options possible for John, because he doesn't have to choose between following Rose's instructions, or not doing anything at all. He can, as @wakraya pointed out, go find Terezi and bring her back, which would probably solve a lot of things. He can muster up the energy to resume interacting with his friends again, without having things go down the way they do in the Candy route. For one, he doesn't have to bring back Gamzee. If Calliope asks him, he should refuse to consider the idea. That alone would solve a lot of the issues with Candy.

This would create a hypothetical pumpkin route, or "veggie route", as I like to think of it, which would be sort of a hybrid route combining elements of the two epilogue routes, but with all the worst stuff fixed. That's what I hope happens.

My thoughts specifically regarding Dirk's fate in the Candy route

As we learn later on in the Candy route, and experience firsthand in the Meat route, we have to be aware when reading the epilogues that the narrator's voice shouldn't always be trusted. Dirk's death in the Candy route is described as a Just death, but is it really? Since he is a godtier, and from the context of the rest of the route, where he remains dead, we know that his death must have been either Heroic or Just, since those are the only conditions under which a godtier can actually die. But again, we are only presented two choices, as if they were the only ones! How can we know for sure whether these are the only two options? Heroic is equally as repulsive an explanation to settle on as Just, because both options imply that the right decision for Dirk to make was to kill himself. But as we saw in the Meat timeline, he has accumulated power over the narrative for years, internalizing and growing his powers as Rose tried to ignore her own powers, which led to her condition we saw her dealing with in the prologue. Dirk, if it is to be believed grew control over the narrative in the Meat timeline, also had that same control in the Candy timeline. Why, then, would he commit suicide? Perhaps he saw that if he remained in the narrative, he would become an antagonistic force. Perhaps he feared that he would renounce his humanity, and with it any shred of being a good person. Perhaps he feared becoming the monster that poor Dave had to grow up with, who caused much trauma that Dave is still dealing with, something Dirk is well aware of.

These reasonings still do not justify suicide. Nothing does. Dirk's death in the Candy timeline should, by all accounts, not have been either Heroic or Just. But perhaps what may have occurred is that his suicide caused the clock to malfunction. His death could be seen as Heroic in one way, because he was preventing the birth of a malevolent god, whose unbridled power and selfish intentions can be seen in the Meat timeline. In another way, it could also be seen as Just, because Dirk himself would have been that malevolent god. If the clock determined that his death could be construed as both, or neither, it may have failed to make any decision at all, and left him dead without any real justification.

Both options, Heroic and Just, presume that the only possible future for Dirk in the Candy timeline is that he becomes evil like he does in Meat. But if he knew that he would become evil, and killed himself to prevent it, would that mean that he could have remained alive and attempted to keep himself from becoming evil? Well, yes, but that would result in a different timeline.

I'm going to try to wrap things up on the topic of Dirk's suicide. First and foremost, there should've been some kind of warning about this specifically, because it's a lot more traumatic than anything else in the epilogues, especially for people (such as myself) who struggle with depression, and certainly for those who struggle with self-harm or have even attempted suicide. Just something as simple as a small warning at the top of the page would've sufficed, such as "this page contains a graphic depiction of self-harm, continue at your own risk."

But as for the event itself, within the narrative, it is necessary for the rest of the events of the Candy route to occur - and I personally believe that the events of both epilogue routes need to occur in their own timelines, so that certain characters from each can come into the true timeline.

I don't like it. I don't like thinking that Dirk's death is something that needs to happen, even in a single doomed timeline. Dirk isn't my favorite character by any means, but I would never wish death or injury upon him or any of the eight Homestuck kids. I like Dirk, and I think that in the true canon timeline, he - as well as the rest of the eight - would always be always capable of redemption, of seeing his own faults and being a good person. But, I suppose, it is reasonable to theorize that there are timelines where even the Homestuck kids do unspeakable things and become irredeemable, a glimpse of which we've been subjected to with these epilogues. Is Jane still redeemable in the Candy timeline? I really doubt it. Jane had been my favorite character in the comic, but I can never see her in the same light again. I know that the epilogues are merely a couple of doomed timelines, but seeing that version of Jane, that possibility that she becomes xenophobic and turns against her friends in two timelines, and even becomes a genocidal maniac in one, has ruined her character for me. The epilogues' treatment of Jane is a whole other can of beans that I might get into someday, but for now I'm just focusing on Dirk.

Suicide is not a subject that should've been approached like this. I don't agree with the writers' decision to include something as dark as this in the story, canon or not, and on top of that, putting it so early on in the Candy timeline, before most of the bad things happen. But then, Dirk's death is the catalyst for much of the horrible things that occur in the Candy timeline. So as much as I hate to admit it, within the context of the Candy timeline, Dirk's death had to happen the way it did.

Further thoughts about the epilogues in general

I don't really know what to think about the epilogues. Whether to like them, or to hate them. Some who embrace them claim that "everything in them is necessary and canon." I wouldn't go so far as to say that, but I wouldn't disregard them either.

They're written by Hussie, with the help of a couple other writers. They have a lot of really great dialog exchanges, many of which capture the same feeling as the dialog of the original comic did. Both timelines are continuations of the main timeline from Homestuck. But the very nature of there being two equivalent, opposing timelines means that neither of the two timelines is the Real, Empirically True, Actual Homestuck Canon. As Rose said in the prologue, all of the events on Earth C take place outside of canon, which mean that neither the Meat nor the Candy timeline is as real and true as the events depicted in the original comic.

But they do both build up to something, implying that there will be a continuation of the story, where certain things from both (such as Davebot and Rosebot) enter into the real timeline. In this hypothetical "real timeline," John doesn't go off to fight Lord English the same way he does in Meat, but he also doesn't do what he does in Candy. There has to be a third option, a third timeline where things don't all go to shit, Lord English is defeated, and none of the characters we know and love from the main timeline have to die.

#homestuck #epilogue spoilers #homestuck spoilers

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evilkitten3 · 3 years ago

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idk i'd argue that it's pretty possible that odin was genuine in wanting to protect loki. like there's not a good way to handle this specific situation - in hindsight it's obvious that lying wasn't the solution but when i try to think about it from odin's perspective i can kinda see where he's coming from. either way loki would've grown up hearing about how horrible the jotnar were - asgard is super xenophobic and they'd literally just been in a war against jotunheim.

assuming the mcu follows the myths/comics (and it never says anything to contradict it), odin’s own mother was a frost giantess. so odin would have personal experience in growing up hearing people say shitty things about another person’s species (i phrase it like this bc while bestla is referred to as a giantess in the myths/comics, odin usually isn’t - this isn’t exclusive to him either, most of the characters with jotun parents are frequently not referred to as such themselves).

on top of that, i personally feel that since most loki fans push for the original context of his character without later movies’ retcons, it’s only fair to do the same for odin. the odin we’re introduced to in thor 1 isn’t written as a retired alien genocidal maniac, he’s written as an old man who’s made a lot of fuckups and who’s become a bit too good at not seeing things he doesn’t want to (thor’s immaturity, loki’s impending mental breakdown, etc.). he’s quick to realize his error when thor demonstrates exactly how not ready he is, and he actively forces himself from a magical super-coma that he’d apparently been putting off for a while now to try and save his sons. he’s not written as World’s Best Dad or anything, but he does come off as an old guy who’s genuinely trying (as opposed to her majesty Queen Just Gonna Stand Around And Gaslight Everyone).

when odin says he wanted to protect loki from the truth in t1, i always interpreted that as him meaning that the truth would hurt loki, not that the truth itself was inherently bad.

having said all of that, it’s also very easy to read odin’s actions as malicious. he is a morally very complicated character in just about anyone’s writing of him, and he’s an ancient viking war god. by nature his morality is gonna be a bit wonky. t2 really doesn’t help his case bc we see most of his scenes from other characters’ points of view - loki’s sentencing is meant to be shown as more sympathetic to loki, and most people are agreed that odin was being a dick and shouldn’t have said that. from the “not a complete monster” angle, i can see the argument that odin was extremely stressed out from watching his son spiral into madness, attempt genocide, attempt suicide, and then reappear as an even nuttier hopeful warlord. it doesn’t at all justify what he says, but it does make me wonder if he’s really seeing just loki in that moment (in hindsight, t3 makes it seem like he’s having hela flashbacks, while comics knowledge points to cul and t2 on it’s own could hint and him being reminded of either himself or bor).

because the story is focused on his children, odin’s character is framed in the context of his mistakes. and there are a lot of them. on top of that, we really don’t know very much at all about his personal history. we know there was imperialism and all sorts of horrible crap but since the movies don’t spend very much time focussing on any of the other realms (not even really jotunheim), we don’t get to see a perspective outside of “oh one time this thing happened” and we can only guess based on real world history.

we in modern day earth can look at the mcu’s portrayal of asgard and think of whichever imperialist country fits our fancy (most people choose england to compare asgard to, from what i’ve seen). but stories exist exclusively in the message the writer wants to get across - and just about everything we know about norse mythology comes from a post-christianized version of the world, and that means that the mcu’s initial take on the norse pantheon is essentially an irish protestant’s movie-fication of an american jew’s comic book superhero of a 13th century icelandic catholic’s historical collection of “no they’re not gods haha that’d be blasphemy i’m just trying to give us a shared sense of cultural identity stop asking me things” and a bunch of poems by anonymous authors.

in other words, much like the myths, the character of odin is constantly changing in the mcu to fulfill his role in the story being told. he has no personal agency or agenda; his motives are whatever the creator needs them to be. and since the mcu is allergic to a cohesive narrative, his character changes drastically between movies with little to no explanation. so you can make pretty much whatever you want out of his motives.

all that aside, i personally feel as though using what if to prove that mcu!odin was a lying monster falls a bit flat. while the what if episode claims to be a for want of a nail au where odin returned loki instead of keeping him, so much in that universe is blatantly different from what was established in thor 1 that it seems more like an au of an au (of an au of an au of an au etc). it’s clearly not the same established canon thor 1 had.

whether you see laufey as a demonized foreign king or as an actually horrible person, whether you decide to give him a more positive characterization or follow the one he had in the comics, he has so little screentime that really any of those is relatively plausible.

lastly, i feel obligated to argue that rather than trying to figure out the “depth” of the inconsistencies in mcu canon, we should probably just acknowledge that it’s really not anything deeper than bad writing and move on. the casket not being mentioned isn’t meaningful, the creators just didn’t care.

You know it's kind of amazing What if and the Loki series demonstrate how much more well adjusted and happy Loki would be if he knew about his true origins from the start but then they blame him for being lied to about it

It was always a surprise to me how many people believed that Odin wanted to protect him, I read countless comments from fans who claimed keeping the truth from him was the compassionate thing to do.

And I guess they think that because they believe every word Odin said in the vault, and since he was always hero-coded while Loki is supposed to be the villain they don't think twice about it but whenever I see those comments I can't help but think: "protect" him from the truth? So the truth is a bad thing? So being a Jotun is bad? Why? At which point they tell you that the Jotuns tried to conquer Earth which is all kinds of hilarious and ironic because how the hell do these people think Odin came to rule 9 realms? By showing up and saying "I am you King now" and giving hugs to everyone? Asgard was an empire! Hela herself says they annihilated realms and drowned them "in blood and tears".

Sorry, went on a tangent there, back to What If. They don't mention anything about the Casket so assuming the Jotuns kept it and their realm didn't wither away, Loki grew up in peace and surrounded by those who were exactly like him, at no point believing he was any less so no self-esteem issues and no internalized racism. Without Odin using triangulation to make the brothers compete for his approval, Loki's relationship with Thor is 100% healthy and he can grow up to be whoever he wants to be.

All this is canon. How wonderful. If only they had addressed this in the MCU universe...

#mcu #mcu meta #loki meta #long post #mcu crit #NOT odin apologism #cannot be clear enough on that #i am not saying i think odin was a good dad #i personally don't think it's possible to be in charge of a monarchy and a good father #if part of your job involves predetermining your child's job... well you got the shit end of the parenting stick i guess #however i think painting odin as a cartoonishly evil monster is... hm if not per se unrealistic then at least uninteresting #bor on the other hand....#well let me put it like this #have you read 'angela: queen of hel'?#bc that bor is A) an absolute bag of dicks #and B) easily the best three panels in the book (aside from all the gay ones)#sera pretty much censors everything that comes out of his mouth and it is hilarious

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tape-hiss · 7 years ago

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Aetherian immigration

Hello! It's Tape Hiss time again. This month I'm covering another request: the immigration system in Aetheri! If you're curious as to what, exactly, Liya's legal status is--or Yoshi's, or Shinobu's--you might be interested in this post. Also, Aetherian immigration law is not nearly as uninteresting or complex to read about as, say, US immigration laws.

I do want to take this chance to say: immigration law in the US is already pretty brutal, and immigrants (undocumented or otherwise) are facing more and more threats from the collection of haunted fascist ventriloquist dummies currently in office here. If you can, please consider donating to an organization like MPower or United We Dream.

Anyway, read on.

So, as mentioned--both in comic and outside it--the Cynn is the governmental figure in Aetheri that makes most of the immigration laws. Their powers cover mainly international and interworld issues, which cover immigration to a point. The part the Cynn's powers don't extend to (as much as Numair might like them to) is what laws govern immigrants after they get here. That largely lies with local governments, e.g. the Escalus 'mayor' and city council. That's where things start getting ugly.

The basic, intended process from entering the country to becoming a naturalized citizen goes like this:

You apply at an Aetherian port-of-entry, in person.

You must name a sponsor on your application. This has to be someone with Aetherian citizenship who will be essentially responsible for your behavior until you become a citizen.

You then live in Aetheri; you must keep your address current with your city, and you must live within a certain distance of your sponsor.

All you have to do then is a) not leave Aetheri for too long a time as that forfeits your visa, and b) live the equivalent of half your age at immigration in Aetheri, with a limit of 50 years, rounded to the nearest year.

Then you're a citizen. This is still a separate category from native-born Aetherians legally, but you are a citizen.

Sounds pretty straightforward, right? Sure. Here's the catches, though.

There are very, very few permanent Aetherian ports-of-entry. One of them is in Enodia, in the Symphony Archipelago. There are two on Earth, one in the United States and one in China. There are lots of temporary ports set up all over several different worlds, but it's impossible to know where they are without being told, and they open and close without warning. Most of these temporary ports are Royal Order outposts, places to process slave trade refugees through, which is why they move. Some are just located in places where Aetheri technically has no legal right to set up any kind of permanent port.

You need to know someone in Aetheri well enough before moving there that they'll vouch for your entry. There are now networks in place to hook immigrants up with Aetherian volunteers for this, but there's definitely not enough Aetherian citizens to meet this demand. You can only sponsor one person at a time, although there's a couple ways to get around this (e.g. you can sponsor a whole family under certain conditions, or get away with sponsoring two people in different parts of Aetheri where the governments don't talk to each other, so long as you live near each person for half the year.)

Living within a certain distance of your sponsor can be difficult--in Escalus, most immigrants live on the south side of the city, away from where their (probably more affluent and well-established) sponsors would live. There's a lot of fighting in the city government over how far is close enough for this requirement.

If you leave Aetheri for a certain amount of time, you forfeit your visa (and the amount of time is arbitrary, controlled at the port of entry, and totally out of Numair’s hands) There's also a chance they may not let you back in no matter how long you were away, because you can't really do anything about it. There's a chance they'll just ignore your trying to get through the gate until you've been outside too long and your visa has been forfeited. This really just depends on what kind of assholes are staffing the port of entry.

The time requirement is ostensibly to make sure you're really acclimated to Aetheri before you become a citizen, but in practice it's sort of ridiculous. For example: Yoshi came to Aetheri at age 6, so she became a citizen three years later at age 9. Meanwhile, Shinobu came to Aetheri when she was already three hundred-something. She's now been in Aetheri for 65 years, and for 50 of those, she still wasn't a citizen. If you come to Aetheri as an 80-year-old human, you'd have to live another 40 years to be a citizen. Granted, this doesn't sound like a long time to spirits, but it is to a lot of other people.

Additionally, there are, on paper, a limited number of visas that can be allotted per year. This is in place because of legitimate concerns that too many people flooding in all at once would overwhelm Aetheri's infrastructure and ability to feed everyone; letting people in gradually allows food production to scale up, empty homes to be repaired or new ones to be built, new businesses and trades to get a foothold, and so on. This is a fair enough concern for Aetheri in particular, since their population is small and they don't produce a lot of surplus. It does shut people out, though, and the policy itself doesn't consider emergencies like crises going on right now in the Archipelago, for example.

There are a lot of ways to get around this, though. The most notable is that you can get an exemption from the requirement for a sponsor and get a visa even if the allotted number has been filled if you are coming into the country with an academic appointment, or if you're a healer with a unique ability/specific clientele. Shinobu got an exemption by doing the former; she had previously made the acquaintance of an instructor at the University at Escalus when they were on Earth, and they were able to nominate her for an academic appointment based on the fact that she was already collecting so much information for a bestiary by then. The University thought having a complete bestiary (or as complete as possible) would be a good addition to their wealth of knowledge, so they brought her on. In her case, the University was essentially her sponsor, and therefore would have to answer for any trouble she got into (which she didn't.)

Another way to get around this is if you are a magic-user with powers that would clearly pose a danger to yourself or others if they were left un-mastered. Aetherian law holds that magic users must be taught to use their magic, and it's a responsibility that if the community of magic teachers finds an inexperienced magic-user without a teacher no matter where they are from, they must find one or be one themselves. This is the loophole Numair mentions exploiting here--perhaps he noted that Captain Marinos mentioned that Liya's healing magic can be lethal if she chooses it to be, and so he used that to make the case that she should be granted this exemption. Helly ended up her sponsor because with this justification, by being contacted about her by Marinos ne was technically required to teach her or find someone who could.

Yoshi, meanwhile, was sponsored by Vlad. There's still a lot of fighting over whether or not a naturalized citizen should be able to sponsor another immigrant (legally right now yes, but actually being able to do so is another matter--more often than not their request is turned down because $ARBITRARY_REASON.) Shinobu chose to skip this headache altogether by asking Vlad to be Yoshi's sponsor. Vlad has no problem with this; honestly, the name 'du Russi' on a form gets it rubber-stamped, more or less, and Vlad uses that rather a lot to his advantage (specifically undermining his more conservative relatives.) Yoshi couldn't have gotten in much trouble during the three years Vlad sponsored her, and after that was up Vlad was free to sponsor someone else.

Yet another loophole to getting around the visa quota lies in Numair's specific powers as the Cynn. He can grant emergency visas personally as he sees fit, and technically this is an unlimited power, but he tries to avoid using it very often, because he wants to keep it for when it's really truly necessary. If he grants too many too fast, the Assembly is sure to notice, and abuse of power is a good way to draw their ire in a way that Numair wouldn't be able to escape. He's done this for a few people over the years (no one we know) for various reasons, but given the fact that most people don't see him, meet him, or even know how to contact him, he doesn't get a lot of requests for this. And when something does come to his attention, he can usually find another loophole for them to slip through.

So why is this so difficult, anyway? Why are some Aetherians making it so difficult to immigrate?

I touched on the source of Aetheri's deep-seated xenophobic psyche in my post on thyft: Aetherian fear of the unknown is rooted deep in being a former prey species. Those stories and that fear are so often repeated that it probably lies deeper within most Aetherians than they'd like to admit. Some don't find it hard to bridge the gap of cultures and appearances when it comes to offworlders--some do, or choose to, and they choose to react with vitriol.

The animosity towards offworlders in Aetheri hasn't always been like this, though. When Aetheri was just beginning to open its borders and establish diplomatic relations again with other nations, most Aetherians were pretty excited about it. Aetheri stagnated for a long time in its own little corner of its planet since the great war, and a lot of people were way into the prospect of new music, new goods, new ideas--anything to breathe some fresh air into their long lives. Even the first wave of immigration into Aetheri was met more with curiosity than anything else, even by spirits who are now thumping the table to restrict offworlders from entering. They found it quaint, if nothing else. There were not many offworlders, and those offworlders were beneath them anyway, so what was the harm?

As immigration increased, the attitudes of some started to change. Not because of any actual problem with the offworlders themselves--they were, as with real-life immigrant populations, less likely to commit crime, and most of them acclimated well in Aetheri. What a lot of older Aetherians began to see was that this new whirlwind of cultures coming in was, in their minds, destroying thousands of years of Aetherian tradition. Younger spirits were more and more making their chosen families with offworlders rather than with their own; they changed their clothes, their hair, their attitudes. The old guard viewed all this as a loss of Aetherian identity, and they started to realize that they were being outnumbered as more and more offworlders came in. Their biggest fear now would be a world in which Aetherian culture had been entirely subsumed into others, where spirits were a minority in their own lands, the lands that did in fact actually belong to them, lands that they'd had to burn down their predators to keep living on without fear. So they reacted more and more violently against this, as time went on.

On the flip side, most of the younger generation of spirits don't view it this way at all. In their minds, they're escaping from a culture in which fear is the driving factor, one that had stagnated and stifled for thousands of years, becoming only drier and heavier-handed as it went. They're leaving families that didn't consider them to be worth much anyways, and making their homes elsewhere, with people who are also outcasts or refugees, who are glad to have them. They're building a new culture with help from the outside--after all, they're Aetherian, so their culture is Aetherian culture. It just looks a bit different, is all.

[This feels like a good time to mention that WN isn’t meant to be a metaphor for any one specific thing. I definitely write WN based on things I observe in real life, but I stick to the mechanics rather than the whole. Less ‘X group is the Y of this world’ and more ‘the dynamics of this society work like this because some of the driving factors are the same as this other thing I see IRL.’ I actually really purposefully write it so that you’d have to do an awful lot of twisting to fit WN into an allegory for any one thing. WN definitely has its own slant, if you will, but this isn’t no Animal Farm.]

So that's the backdrop on which a big chunk of White Noise takes place. What's next? Well, probably a ramping up of animosity between traditionalists and everyone else who doesn't have a problem with Aetheri's new cultural landscape. Naturalized citizens are second class in practice even if not on paper. Immigrant populations have formed their own neighborhoods as they are wont to do based on similar cultures or other factors, building tightly-knit communities that are more and more looking out for themselves since the Aetherian police will often not (which is the sort of climate where mafias get their start, I believe.) There are immigrants in Aetheri that have been there since the 1920s--and there are generations of non-spirits who were born there, by now. But no matter how long they've been there, even naturalized citizens have a sort of tenuous status in Aetheri that, really, depends on the Cynn. The Cynn alone has the power to revoke visas and granted citizenship without prior criminal activity. As long as Numair is in the position, it's not necessarily a problem, but it's a terrible place to put all that power.

*Pretentious text alert*

One final topic, because I feel like it's sort of relevant here: one of White Noise's Big Themes is liminality. Everything and everyone is partway between one thing and another--not opposite things necessarily, but still on a precipice, or a threshold. Aetheri is partway between old and new. Hawk is partway between life and death, so to speak, and partway between human and whatever else. Liya is partway between her home world and her new home in Aetheri, emotionally and mentally. Yoshi is partway between her identity as Aetherian and her outsider-ness to that, and being trans itself is a kind of liminal space, if you ask me. Even Vlad, with his Classical Aetherian Phenotype, is partway between his old family lineage and his clearly non-traditional experiences outside Aetheri that shape who he is. No one is one thing, from one place, entrenched in one culture.

I realize now that this is sort of a problem representation-wise--there is a running theme in some works of PoC characters represented visually, while their perhaps culture is not. You could argue that's a problem with characters like Hawk (Indian and ethnically Russian) and Yoshi (Japanese and ???American), as they have these heritages that I really don't pay a lot of mind to, and that's a fair criticism I think. It wasn't something I thought of when I started White Noise, but I get it now. The purposeful liminal spaces I'm putting in this comic are more drawing from my own queerness, I think, than anything else. I'm investigating something about navigating a world in flux and an identity in flux and having it maybe all shake out okay in the end, or else being okay with the constant ambiguity. That's all, really.

*End pretentious text*

ONE LAST THING because I was delighted to see someone point this out in the comments on a recent page:

Why would you have this intimidating-ass statue of Russi right outside the building where the interworld gates are, where it would be the first thing every new visitor saw?

It’s super on purpose. The skulls are on Russi’s statue because they’re the skulls she used to make the constructs that brought sun and saved Aetheri from famine. To any Aetherian, it’s just a visual motif. You see this sort of thing a lot with Catholic saints, for example, who tend to always be pictured with a motif of whatever would identify them. Examples: Saint Hugh and his swan, or Saint Sebastian, who is always full of arrows (but in a sexy way.)

But Aetherians are aware that this probably looks intimidating, so they put the interworld gates there just to make themselves look big, really. Look at our big statue with skulls on it, we’re metal as fuck, don’t mess with us. A sort of...gentle threat to offworlders, just in case.

Anyway, thank you for reading! As always, my ask box is open for questions. I may not get to them right away because brain problems and real life Big Stress, but I do see them and think about them and will get to them at some point. See ya in January with the next post!

#worldbuilding #immigration #fantasy #writing #fantasy societies

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recalculatingthegenderwar · 8 years ago

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Woman Women feminist shitstorm begins: theater bars men from screening of Wonder Woman movie because "girl power"

The upcoming Wonder Woman movie premieres June 2. The movie actually looks like it may be okay. The problem is that Wonder Woman, as perhaps the most widely known superheroine (especially by people who don't read comics), has always been a lightning rod for gender politics. Case in point, Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, Texas has decided to host a "women's only" screening of the film because "girl power":

"Apologies, gentlemen, but we’re embracing our girl power and saying “No Guys Allowed” for one special night at the Alamo Ritz. And when we say “People Who Identify As Women Only,” we mean it. Everyone working at this screening -- venue staff, projectionist, and culinary team -- will be female."

I'm still trying to figure out if this is illegal. I would be one thing if this was a private event for a organization that just happened to be all women. However, its quite another thing to have a public event that specifically bars a specific people group. I see little difference between having a "women's only" showing and a "whites' only" showing.

Not only is the theater discriminating against customers based on gender, but possibly also employees. If they told any male employees they couldn't work during the screening, those employees would have legal grounds for a employment discrimination complaint under Texas labor laws.

I also want to say its a stupid business decision to bar half your potential customers for no reason, but the tickets seemed to have sold out! There is even talk of setting up more women's only screenings. Plus they are getting a load of free publicity.

Drafthouse's Response

Alamo Drafthouse has responded to very credible allegations of sexism with mostly with either dismissive or outright snarky social media comments.

This isn't a matter of opinion. This is subjective gender discrimination. The only possible argument you can make is this is some how okay gender discrimination.

I don't want the Drafthouse to burn in hellfire (unintentional Marvel comic reference there). In current American society, sadly few people recognize that sexism against men is even possible. I could imagine the Alamo Drafthouse unwittingly walked into this. However, they lose my sympathy when they double-down when they should be apologizing.

I also simply don't understand what the draw is for women here. I don't necessarily agree with women's only gyms or "ladies night" discounts, but at least there is some sort of argument there. What's the attraction here? See a movie without having to suffer the presence of men? Is the spectre of "ra-ra" sisterhood so intoxicating, no matter how ridiculous and unnecessary its form?

I think what really frustrates me about the whole thing is that is just seems to be sexism for sexism's sake and women are paying a premium for it!

Women's Women is a lightning rod for gender politics and SJW crap

Wonder Woman frustrates me because she is a mainstay of the DC Comics universe, but I think she has always been held back by both gender politics and bad writing. I think the writing has actually been getting a little better for her. While DC fans generally hated the New 52 reboot, it played up some complexities in Wonder Woman that made her more own character and less Superman with tits. Brian Azzarello's New 52 Wonder Woman run, while not perfect, was probably the most interesting take on the character I've seen for awhile. It also occasionally poked fun at the gender politics of the series and a few times out-right slapped them across the face.

However, you also have Grant Marrison's ridiculous Wonder Woman: Earth One, which includes unnecessary references to both body shaming and racism (along with some of the weird BDSM stuff found in very early versions of Wonder Woman). We have an issue of Sensation Comics, where Wonder Woman explains even her magical Lasso of Truth "can't stop mansplaining".

Wonder Woman has become a feminist icon simply because she is the most recognizable female superhero. Gloria Steinmen famously complained about a story arc where Wonder Woman lost her powers. But how much Wonder Woman do you think Steinmen actually read? Do you think she knew any other female superheroes? As the recent SJW incursion into comics has made it clear, SJWs care more about the political statements they can make with comics, rather than the medium itself. I have a feeling that feminists would rather Wonder Woman be a good feminist billboard, then a good (much less financially viable) character.

Wonder Woman is actually a confusing choice for a feminist heroine if you bother to dip below the surface of the character. For one thing, Wonder Woman was created by a man. A man who appears to have wanted to use her to promote BDSM.

Sure, feminists will likely drool at a super-powered warrior princess from an all-female island paradise battling evil (which they may easily reinterpret as "patriarchy"). However, I doubt that many consider that the "Paradise Island" (aka Themyscira) Wonder Woman hails from is a highly militaristic, isolationist, xenophobic, theocratic, misandric, dictatorship (technically a monarchy, but the queen is immortal). It might even be outright authoritarian. Women aren't generally allowed to leave the island. Men are generally forbidden from setting foot on the island (sometimes on penalty of death).

Furthermore, while feminist dogma sometimes gets pasted on to Wonder Woman, Wonder Woman is very often the force pushing for greater understanding and contact with "man's world", occasionally even bringing male heroes (often in violation of the island's laws) to Paradise Island. Wonder Woman is the bridge between our "man's world" (which actually isn't just man's world) and her island, which is why Alamo Drafthouse barring men is particularly ironic. It's probably the most un-Wonder Woman thing you could do.

Frankly, feminist don't even know what to think about Wonder Woman. The U.N. adopted Wonder Woman as a mascot late last October. When Wonder Woman became a U.N. mascot last year (I suspect as a face-saving measure when they failed to elect a female U.N. Sectary General), many feminists were outraged. A petition with 44,983 signatures was submitted to remove Wonder Woman. One of their complaints was that a real women should have been used, but I think they were mostly upset that Wonder Woman was "an overtly sexualized image" at time of supposed rampant "objectification of women and girls".

"Although the original creators may have intended Wonder Woman to represent a strong and independent “warrior” woman with a feminist message, the reality is that the character’s current iteration is that of a large breasted, white woman of impossible proportions, scantily clad in a shimmery, thigh-baring body suit with an American flag motif and knee high boots –the epitome of a “pin-up” girl."

Ultimately, the U.N. dropped Wonder Woman after just 2 months.

This hasn't stopped Gal Got from telling us that Wonder Woman is totally a feminist movie, mostly because Gal Got has no idea what feminism actually is.

"GLAMOUR: [..] Does portraying one of the most iconic feminist figures change your own personal feelings on feminism? GG: There are such misconceptions as to what a feminist is. Feminism is about equality. I want all people to have the same opportunities and to get the same salaries for the same jobs. I realize I'm doing what I want to do because of the women before me who laid the groundwork. Without them I wouldn't be an educated working mother who is following her dreams; I wouldn't be here."

It's Got who is has misconceptions about feminism, which is definitely not about gender equality, but actively promotes inequality.

Get ready for a feminist deluge

I'm holding out hope the Wonder Woman movie will actually be mostly good (probably not great, but good). Although the WWI setting makes me think we'll probably get a reference to the Suffragettes, which would be strange since women can't vote on Paradise Island either. I doubt the movie will comment on the Suffragette's largely forgotten racism or acts of domestic terrorism (or note how many men couldn't vote at the time either). I would love to see someone try to explain the White Feather Campaign to WWI era Wonder Woman.

However, we are definitely going to get a deluge of feminist commentary on the movie. Three months from the movie's release Wonder Woman's arm pit hair was already a point of controversy! Hundreds of feminist blogs will use the movie as a springboard to talk about feminism. Feminists act like the fictional movie some how proves feminist doctrine. Feminists will complain about other feminists commentary because Wonder Woman is white, able-bodied, and attractive. Feminists will analyze the ticket sales. Feminists will make seeing the movie a political act and not seeing an act of misogyny.

On the other hand, if Wonder Woman was even mildly anti-feminist, it could be one of the greatest anti-feminist trolls of all time.

More Stuff

MundaneMatt: Male fans upset at (possibly illegal) female-only WONDER WOMAN screening

Diversity in Comics: WONDER WOMAN will play in gender-segregated theaters

#wonder woman #antifeminism #feminism

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theheavymetalmama · 8 years ago

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I’m going to regret this...

Because old memes die hard...

Oh, I’m going to get some riveting emails for this, aren’t I?

I realize this is a volatile subject and that no shortage of people would sooner dunk their heads in a giant anthill before bringing this up in any forum or discussion. And for once, I agree. This is something I really don’t want to talk about, as I’ve been down this particular rabbit hole before and all I got was nothing but grief, with some people still butthurt at me and still give me rations of shit to this day because I had the audacity to suggest that if AAA developers so desperately crave an audience expansion like they always bang on about then maybe they should reach out to audiences besides young straight white men and small boys and that women and girls~as in one half of the world’s whole fucking population~would be a good place to start. Seriously guys (you know who you are,) it’s been one third of a decade since then. Cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it!

Anyway, like I said, I’d much rather not talk about this because no matter what, I’m going to get all forms of shit and glue-huffing guff blasted at me from both ends. In one corner it’s the immovable objects that fight tooth and nail to keep gaming in one specific way and rail against any and all forms of change and innovation while screeching “SJW pandering” at any game where the main character doesn’t look like Nathan Drake or one of his eight billion derivatives and then wonder why gaming is still dismissed as a childish waste of time, and in the other corner it’s the red-pill swallowing, fedora tipping Star Wars haters who branded a movie where Tom Hardy walks into the mist with nothing but a knife and a small bag of homemade explosives against a tank boiling over with gun-toting lunatics and emerged unscathed as “feminist propaganda.” No, fucking really, that actually happened.

Basically what I’m saying is that I really don’t want to do this because all in all it’s a headache I really don’t fucking need right now....but this needs to be said all the same.

So lately there’s been a very loud demand to keep politics and entertainment separate. Everything from movies to comic books and everything in between. Those are discussions in and of themselves, so let’s stick with video-games for the moment. On one hand, I can certainly see where these people are coming from. They say that brevity is the soul of wit, and if that is indeed the case then for all its’ pros the gaming industry employs some of the most witless motherfuckers in entertainment when it comes to writing. Let’s face it, even the good writers in gaming aren’t exactly good at subtlety. However, the fish starts to stink pretty fast once this falls under scrutiny. Let me make one thing perfectly clear.

You can’t remove politics from video games.

No, you can’t. And before you try and argue that video games never had politics before, with the possible exception of Pong and a few Atari games you’re wrong. Politics, or more to the point political views and ideologies, have been part of all forms of media since the dawn of media and entertainment itself and video-games are no exception. You can’t remove politics from games anymore than you can remove the heart from the human body and expect it to still function. Now you can argue how on the nose or how politics and ideals are presented, and you certainly don’t have to agree with them, but they can’t be removed. In fact, some of the best games, movies, comics, books, and whatever are heavily political. Don’t believe me? Well, lace up your shoes and grab your backpack, because I’m about to take you to school. Let’s start with Gears of War.

“What?” some of you are probably thinking. “Gears of War? A game about double-muscled linebackers shooting aliens? Come on, that’s not political at all!”

Oh yes it is. Not only is there commentary between the action set-pieces about how the military mindset of ‘Shoot first, shoot some more, blow shit up, and for good measure bomb them to the stone age and back, then maybe ask some questions’ is a short term gain and a long term loss, but throughout the games there’s an underlying theme about how humanity’s unquenchable thirst for natural resources is what doomed the whole planet in the first place. In this case, a fictional superfuel called ‘imulsion.’ What starts as a ‘dwarves of Moria digging too greedily and too deep and awakening something dark and dreadful’ situation gradually gets worse and humans start getting sick from constant exposure and by the time Gears 3 comes along it turns into a full blown zombie apocalypse. It’s only after humanity swears the stuff off forever and seeks alternative fuel sources when things finally start to get goo...when things finally start to get bet...when things finally start to get less shit.

Still not convinced?

Skyrim ~ The future of both this land and the Empire rides on who wins the civil war. So which side are you on? The side of the Empire that’s ruled and controlled by snobbish elitists who look down on others? Or the side of the Stormcloaks lead by a xenophobic asshat who segregates people because he thinks Skyrim and everything in it belong to Nords and ONLY Nords? Hmm, elitism or racism. Choices, choices...

Bioshock, 1 & 2. ~ Hey, ever read Atlas Shrugged by the objectivist author and real-life Loony Toon Ayn Rand? Guess what, these games are going to show you how that and right-wing ideologies are big steaming piles of whale shit while you kill spliced up mutants that used to be the people who followed said ideas!

Bioshock Infinite ~ Oh, so you thought that from the first two games and the first half of this game that right-wing politics and theocratical rule are bogus and that the answer lays with the left-leaning Vox Populi, right? Guess what? Fooled you! They’re just as bad as the other guys!

Final Fantasy VII ~ Mega-corporations are greedy monsters who care so little for the planet or the people who live on it that they try and crossbreed humans and monsters by locking them in a glass cage and forcing them to bump uglies (fucking really) and humanity’s only chance is to stop the corporate establishment and bring the green back to the Earth! Oh, what’s that? Cloud, Tifa, Barret, and so on all seem less badass now that you know they’re actually tree-hugging hippies? Too bad, they are.

Resident Evil ~ Speaking of mega-corporations, look what happens when a company that makes Wayne Enterprises look like a simple mom and pop shop is left unchecked and deregulated to the point that they can do whatever they want and almost get away with it; like create an unkillable super-solider to sell to the highest bidder but can’t because the serum to create said super-soldier only works on a handful of genetically specific people and turns everyone else into flesh-eating zombies, mutant dogs, and other forms of Eldritch nightmares that eventually gets so bad the US military is forced to nuke an entire city. Oops...

Doom ~ Monsters and demons from Hell are a motherfucker, but they’re only attacking because a greedy mega-corporation (do you sense a recurring theme here?) decided that wind and solar energy just wasn’t good enough and decided to harvest energy from Hell. Who in the name of Zeus’ BUTTHOLE thought that was a good idea!?

Sonic the Hedgehog ~ Come on. The environmental and pro-conservation messages are so NOT subtle that the Saturday morning cartoon made it the central theme.

The Fallout Series ~ We’d be here all fucking day.

Deus Ex, Beyond Good and Evil, Just Cause, Dead Rising, Call of Duty when it was still good, Mirror’s Edge, Grand Theft Auto, Starcraft, Metal Gear Solid, Saints Row, the fucking Mario Bros., I could go on and on. Politics are everywhere. You can’t remove them from games or media in general anymore than you could stop the tide. Again, you can argue the merits of said politics, the subtlety or lack thereof, and you most certainly don’t have to agree with them, but removing them is not only impossible on a grand scale...it’s just an outright bad idea. Remember Gears of War? They tried removing the politics inherent in the series once and tried to make it a typical AAA shooty-shooty bang-bang dudebro-pandering power fantasy, because the studio that bought the franchise and booted the OG developers away listened to their focus groups of 12 year olds and frat boys said that games making them think made their heads do an owie. The result was Gears of War: Judgement, and there’s only one way to describe Gears of War: Judgement.

And it’s not just video-games. Hey, you know that comic ‘The Dark Knight Returns’ who’s more rabid fans and supporters basically want you dead if you don’t validate their obsession with what’s maybe the 14th best Batman story? Well if you want politics removed from comics then you’d better run that shit along with Watchmen, Demon in a Bottle, What’s Funny About Truth Justice and the American Way, and countless other great comics through a fucking paper shredder and burn the remains because there’s more political commentary and media satire in The Dark Knight Returns than there is Batman.

Or how about the movies? Keeping with comics, let’s go with Iron Man, the movie that kicked off the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Oh, a silver spoon-in-mouth billionaire who’s genius intellect is only matched by his monumental ego and his affinity for booze and booty has him so distracted that he doesn’t notice a high-up in his own company is selling weapons to terrorists? Yeah, that’s not political or topical at all! *chuckles*

I honestly could go on, but I think by now you get the picture. Politics are in all forms of media, even if you don’t realize it. Some of the best works of fiction are also heavily political in one shape or form, and the same goes for some of the worst fiction.

Now, I’m only speaking from personal experience here. But one thing I’ve noticed is that when someone says “Keep politics out of video-games/comic books/movies/whatever,” what they almost always mean is “stop talking about problems of women/minorities.” It’s not always the case, but it’s enough of the case to seem like it’s always the case. So Horizon: Zero Dawn was a great game, right? Yeah, it was. But despite selling nearly 3 million copies, a sizable chunk of people never played it and never will because they took one look at the female protagonist and dismissed it as ‘SJW propaganda.’ Which is completely idiotic because the game never brings up social justice at all and the fact the main character is a woman only comes into play during one minor part of the whole story.

That’s not an isolated incident either. It happens pretty much every time a game comes out where the main character isn’t either a talking animal or a 30-something white dude with brown hair, blue eyes, and a bit of stubble on his face. Virginia because the main character was a black woman, Dishonored 2 because one of the playable characters was a woman, DragonAge Inquisition because they argued that women swinging swords wasn’t realistic in a game where dragons and magic exists, everyone dresses like a Judas Priest album cover, there’s two fucking moons, and if you wanted to you could have gay sex with this guy.

And yes, you are the bottom in that relationship because.....fucking duh!

Or for a more recent example, the people who lost their fucking minds because the multiplayer mode in Call of Duty: World War II will feature female soldiers. Because according to these guys the single player mode being a bigger sausage party than Sausage Party as well as whiter than a Starbucks in Toronto just isn’t enough. Oh, and by the way? Anybody who thinks that women and black people didn’t fight in World War II, I hope a history buff as well as the still-living vets of WWII line up and take turns slapping the stupid out of you.

Now you can argue how big this particular group of asshats actually are, but they do exist and they do this shit on a routine basis. They come about all the time and they always the same tired-ass “I’m not racist, but” type of logic when talking about keeping politics out of games. See, they don’t actually care about politics in games. They just don’t like it when someone who doesn’t think like them and isn’t them gets what they want for a change, like a game having a gender option, a female body-type besides “underwear model” being represented, or acknowledging that more than just white dudes fought, bled, and died during historic events, they always find something that doesn’t fit their own narrow worldview and personal “but papa AAA industry said I was his special little snowflake” persecution complex to bitch about. I suppose its’ no surprise, considering these are the same people who are still fighting the tired-ass censorship war from the 90′s during a time where sex MMOs are a dime a dozen and vile, repugnant shit like Hatred, Ethnic Cleansing, and ZOG are available for anyone to just download and play.

But I’m getting sidetracked.

Politics can’t be removed from games. Or comics, or movies, or any form of media. ALL media is political. You can argue the merits and subtlety (or lack thereof) of politics all day as well as debate how on the nose they are, and you certainly don’t have to agree with them. But you’re seriously going to demand that politics be removed from video-games while you have copies of Bioshock, Deus Ex, or The Dark Knight Returns sitting up on your shelf while insisting that politics and social issues were never part of comics/games/whatever in a world where a movie based on the real life event of how a writer used Superman to take down the Ku Klux Klan is being made, I’d say that you’re being just a bit disingenuous OR you’ve been hiding down in the safety bunker for too long and it’s high time you came up for some fresh air.

#politics #video games #gaming #rant

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zuzuhe · 8 years ago

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the sonic archie comics are unreal

as an 8 year+ ‘sonic veteran’, I gotta tell you, young me has read some shit. I used to be way into sonic stuff for some reason, and one day I discovered the sonic comics. I’ve collected over 300 issues and many of its spin off stories, and I need you guys to sit down because sonic comics are one fucking wild ride that never stops.

fun fact: Sonic comics are the longest running comic based off a video game. (started like... 1990′s and continues today...nearly 20 years now)

here’s my top 16 weird ass facts about the sonic comics you guys might enjoy:

16. Knuckles' half brother Knee-cap

So Knuckles’ mother(Lara-le) divorces his father(Locke) and ends up marrying a guy named Wynmacher and has a child with him who they named “Knecapeon Mace” but called him Knee-Caps for short.

15. Knuckles becomes evil Thor at some point

So Knuckles has this arch-nemesis named Dr. Finitevus who looks pretty cool and all and Finitevus I guess curses Knuckles to become this weird evil god that wants to destroy technology or something... and Knux’s father Locke ended up sacrificing himself so Knuckles could go back to normal so Finitevus indirectly killed Knuckles’s father...

honorable mentions.... Knuckles has a great uncle that is a floating robotic head because he abandoned his body so he could live longer... also Rouge has flirted and kissed Knuckles’s dad more than once.......................................... just thought I should throw that out there...

14. Sonic is a fucking stud jfc

Sonic has dated or flirted with nearly ever girl in this fckin franchise I need to lie down... and this one girl he was dating... Fiona the fox:

So apparently there was this robot duplicate made of Fiona when she was Tails’ age and Tails was dating that robot on an island or some shit and then he realized Fiona was fake... but then the real Fiona appears one day and she’s a few years older than Tails (16 while Tails is like 12 or 13) and Tails is heart broken because she starts dating Sonic but then she starts fucking cheating on Sonic with Sonic’s anti-self Scourge from another dimension and if you haven’t pulled out your wine bottle yet, now is the time to because damn do we need a drink after all this shit ... there’s just a lot of romantic drama in Sonic’s life

13. The Mina the Mongoose situation

So Mina Mongoose is this popular pop-singer that dated Sonic at some point. They have this weird drama where Mina gets shot in the back to save Sally for Sonic… but she survives and then I guess she gets over Sonic and starts dating her gothic asshole manager named Ash?????? Mina I guess had some weird ties with Mammoth Mogul some weird psychic evil mammoth who somehow initiated control over Tails, Mighty, and Mina and threatens to kill them unless Sonic breaks him out of jail and gives him a chaos emerald… trust me this comic gets really fckin dark and confusing..

Speaking of dark, Sonic and Co. eventually lose their entire city to Eggman and Nicole, a robotic A.I. makes an artificial recreated city, but then she gets taken over by some techno bitch and Mina has reoccuring nightmare and tries to throw a rebellion against her or some shit idk

Mina’s life has always been about drama, to the point where in the future she fucking marries Tails?! and they have TWO children Melody and Skye like what the fuck is happening right now

12.Tails’ family

Tails’ father (Amadeus) was a general that lead the mobian army against the humans. His mother Rosemary had actually worked with her husband to fucking OVERTHROW THE KINGDOM OF ACORN TO TRY AND CREATE A DEMOCRACY….. …. also Tails’ uncle Merlin Prower is more or less a “jedi” wizard who is learning the way of chaos power…. so Tails’ family is all over the place they’ve been kidnapped by aliens, roboticized, thrown in jail, I mean damn this kid has been hanging out with Sonic because his family was just not around him most of their life they love him but they got shit to do… fuck shit up Prower family damn….

11. Sonic’s family

Sonic’s real name is Ogilvie Maurice Hedgehog. I shit you not. Sonic was just a nickname. Can you fucking believe this I’m dead omg.... His mom is blonde by the way, her name is Bernadette. His father (jules) was turned into a robot by Eggman and they have yet to reverse this process, but his Uncle Chuck is fine...he’s still got his luscious mustache.

Sonic ends up marrying Sally in the main future timeline and they have two children named Sonia and Manic, which are names derived from the Sonic Underground series where Sonic has two siblings named Sonia and Manic and all three are royals who the queen hid within the city to protect them from the evil Robotnik or some shit…. I mean how deep does this get….look at those fucking parallels...

10. Shadow marries Sally / future situation

Knuckles who somehow has become a cowboy with a robot eye… marries an echidna named Julie-su and they have a daughter named Laura-su. Bunnie and Antione have two children who for some reason are half metal, as mentioned Tails married Mina and their two kids Melody and Skye…. no idea what the fuck happened to Amy in this future, she’s just kinda gone…. ???? idk

Shadow went and fucked up the timeline and took over as the new king of Mobius… so he married Sally. Luckily they didn’t take it as far as to have children but damn is Shadow a mess in his intentions throughout this comic series. Sonic and Co. somehow regain control of timeline and everyone is happy again and there’s new freedom fighters... Oh fyi Shadow also reunites with Maria kind of… he sees her in a computer program along with his creator… so that’s nice

9. the antis

…..there’s a anti sonic dimension.. where everyone is a gothic-punk alter-ego….. and Anti Sonic turned green because of the master emerald for some reason and I think either Knuckles or Knuckles’ father game him that scar on his chest…. Anti Sonic names himself Scourge and was dating Fiona who was cheating on Sonic…. fucking look at Anti-Tails I cant with this I am deceased…..

his gang likes to jump dimensions and Zonic the Zonecop didn’t like that.

8. Zonic the Zone cop

Zonic the Zonecop…. works under Zobotnik….. they’re basically cops who monitor all Sonic dimensions and take in prisoners who leave their dimensions or threaten to destroy dimensions/zones… Zonic always has to hunt down Scourge and other trouble makers and lock them up…. so anyone who dreamed of Sonic in power ranger gear well congrats your dream has come true….

7. Bean is fucking related to Jet from Sonic Riders apparently?????

So remember Jet the Hawk from Sonic Riders… well somehow he might be related to Bean or something???… and Bean calls him “ jettison Q. Hawkington….” don’t know why but I find that funny

6. Eggman fucking snaps

Eggman FUCKING SNAPS OK LIKE HOLY SHIT.. like out of no where he destroys Sonic’s entire city, beats the shit out of him, captures his family and friends, and then tries to turn Charmy bee into a robot but instead gives him brain damage…. Sonic kinda snaps too and would almost consider severely harming or killing Eggman… luckily Sally’s robotic A.I. Nicole had built them all a new city out of nanites … but this whole plot was…. out of every possible plot I could see in a Sonic franchise, having such a grave one thrown at me out of no where was the biggest fuckign surprise 7 year old me has ever seen ok holy fuck

5. Amy’s situation and her cousin Rob’O who is a king..?????

Amy used to be like… 8 years old or some shit then she wished upon a magic ring that made her body grow older by like 4 years or something so she could be part of the freedom fighters and potentially date sonic or something… so Amy is way younger mentally than she looks…

She has a cousin named Rob’O who married some echidna lady and they had a son named Jon… apparently Amy’s uncle was a king and Rob’O is next in line to the throne so Amy is somehow technically royalty ?????????????????? slkfjdk????

4. Charmy bee is a fucking prince and has a girlfriend

oh Charmy Bee is also a fucking prince who has a girlfriend named Saffron… no idea who came up with this plot or why

3. Sally’s weird love life

Sally has a weird love life too, she is princess of Mobius despite her brother and his wife and child being next in line for the throne…..??? She ended up dating this secret service agent Geoffrey the Skunk who had a wife named Hershey the cat who I guess maybe got killed during a mission or something… Geoffrey got into some weird corrupted scandals with villains too I don’t recall his allegiance but Sally was smart for dumping his ass.

She also has some weird ass thing going on with this embodiment of the monkey king………??????

and then she had this arranged marriage thrown together by her father to marry the royal guard Antoine who was actually anti-Antoine from the anti dimension who imprisoned the real Antoine….. Antione I guess finally escapes and then ends up marrying Bunnie instead?????? who the hell are these writers and where did they come from

Sally and Sonic end up together in the end and Sonic becomes king of Mobius and they have kids and all so happy ending for her I guess…. besides that one timeline where she had to marry Shadow…

2. SNIVELY’S...LOVE LIFE...

Um…. Snively is …. Eggman’s nephew…. and something happens to Eggman and Snively somehow ends up dating this one techno-magic chick named Regina the Iron Queen.. she tries to take over Nicole’s nanites… I have no idea who the fuck is writing the romance in this series but I’d like them to sign all my comics

1.THE WAR

apparently the sonic mobians had this massive war against “Overlanders” basically somewhat de-evolved humans due to a mutation experiment / bombs that aliens called Xorda bombarded onto pre-Mobius aka Earth. So more or less Eggman and Snively and any other humans are basically the endangered human species trying to regain control over their planet through xenophobic / racist ideals against the evolved animal species that is the Mobians and Sonic……………………….. I’m not fucking joking

LAWSUITS AND THE WEIRD REBOOT

So apparently Sonic Archie comics went into this huge timeline-dimensional reboot because one of the former writers Ken Penders has thrown multiple lawsuits into Archie comic’s hands and this shit has been going on since 2009 until even now…

Some weird things going on in the reboots:

there’s this lady named Breezie who is … in love with Neo Metal Sonic……I think she’s based off a side character from the old show………and I really think that’s all I should tell you as you can probably see how she was first introduced…

Honey the cheetah… a concept from an old Sonic game I guess returned????

No romance at this point…….

they gave Sally clothes for some reason…

But basically Ken Penders, a previously major archie sonic comic writer, was the creator of multiple if not all of the echidnas involved in the sonic comic storyline. So Finitevus, Julie-su, basically the entire Echidna brother hood, Knuckles’ younger brother, Charmy’s girlfriend Saffron, Mina Mongoose, Mammoth Mogul, and even Amy’s cousin Rob’O are now required to be out of the story. Ken wanted to use the sonic characters he made for his own original graphic novel but Archie wanted to maintain copyright on his characters and concepts… I mean most writers and artists are aware that the things they produce for a licensed company are usually OWNED by that company, so its weird he’d even attempt something like that. Archie claimed Penders signed a contract as evidence for it but failed to produce the contract so the lawsuit settled in 2013. Because of this, Sonic Archie comic and it’s spin off series of Sonic Universe had to completely rewrite their stories to get his characters out of the picture, or straight up just redesigned the characters… he’s also recently claimed in 2015 he’s got another law suit in mind…??? He’s actually ‘inspired’ Scott Fulop to also file lawsuits after he left archie comics too.

Here’s a chart someone made for Ken Pender’s logic in some of his lawsuit filings which you can obviously tell is quite a mess:

honorable mentions

I mean there’s a shit ton of stuff I’ve missed or haven’t even mentioned about this shit…..

thanks for stopping by and letting me explain the horrific treasure that is the sonic comic series because whAT thE FUCK

my god I love the sonic comics

#sonic #sonic the hedgehog #sonic comics #sonic archie comics #what the fuck #there i posted it #my post #the best #long post

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benxsamuel · 8 years ago

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A lecture by Warren Ellis

My job is just sitting in a room making shit up all day. I’m not complaining. But the best part is that I get to meet people, all kinds of people, in probably dozens of different fields. Because I hate silos. The idea that you find your specialty and stay in it. I mentioned that I never went on to higher education. I’m one of those terrifying random auto-didacts you read about, usually in news stories about sudden unexpected axe attacks or bombing campaigns against vending machines. I’m not even one of those freakish deep-thinking uncontained comprehensivists like Buckminster Fuller, whom some of you will probably have to look up afterwards. He once taught at MIT, where I spoke just a couple of weeks ago, and his course was called Comprehensive Anticipatory Design Science. Which is probably another way of saying Arts, Design and Computer Science.

Fuller also taught at Black Mountain College, a weird experimental school in North Carolina – it’s near a place called Asheville, close to where I visited on book tour last winter, and we should maybe talk about Asheville one day – it used to be tobacco country, but when other pressures caused the government to remove a crucial financial crutch, the area collapsed back from 1400 acres of tobacco ground to a hundred, killing the local economy and emptying lots and lots of buildings that artists and musicians moved into for pennies – but, Black Mountain College – the point of the place from the start was that it was interdisciplinary. All the departments cross-pollinated each other.

And that’s kind of how I work and move around the place. All the time, I talk to directors, musicians of all kinds, artists, designers, coders, security threat modellers, genetic engineers, space doctors, philosophers, actors, writers, actual mad scientists. I met Ev Williams at dinner when he was still building out Blogger and I was just a bloody comics writer – but I was in the Bay Area to speak onstage at a “future of the web” conference next to a musician called Thomas Dolby and a software engineer called Grady Booch. Not because I am brilliant or special but because when the opportunity to step outside my perceived silo comes up, I grab it.

Specialisation worked out pretty interestingly for arts, science and the humanities in the 20th Century, sure. I mean, unless you were into philosophy, which was completely subsumed by academia and strangled in the dark. I should apologise to my philosopher friends for that, but they’re aware of it -- Peter Sjostedt publishes through Psychedelic Press to get his ideas out of the silo. The 21st Century is going to work a little differently. Nobody was ready for Bucky Fuller and his comprehensivist geodesic dome bullshit in 1950, and Black Mountain College didn’t last twenty five years, but, this year, if we don’t pay attention to everything and learn from everybody, then we’re probably all screwed. The best bit of my life is that I get to talk to everybody, about everything, and put people from a bunch of different disciplines in the same room, and I get to listen and learn and apply that to whatever I do next. It’s a full speed life, and it’s riddled with challenges large and small, and I might still go down with arrows in my back, as Bruce Sterling said about me – but it’s entertaining as all hell.

And the point to this is – this is what the future is going to look like. Probably needs to look like. And that’s going to be where you’re living.

But let me start this next bit with something else.

If I were giving this talk a few years ago, I’d be talking about atemporality, the appearance of a long pause in the culture, the idea of Manufactured Normalcy that gives everything that grey JG Ballard pallor of banality, and Marshall McLuhan’s warnings about seeing everything through the rear view mirror. But I imagine most if not all of you have the feeling that everything’s gone a bit Mad Max Fury Road. I know people just a generation or two older than you who are off to learn permaculture farming or buying houseboats that can survive a trip across the North Sea.

From here, the Nineties look like the bloody Enlightenment. Back then, we were just a hungover post-imperial nation that was expected only to fuck, take drugs, make art and dance really badly. Now, the fight for the future is on. The fight for diverse and conscious voices, the fight for privacy and secure communication and home automation that makes sense, the fight for news and the fight for art that gets to say what it wants and design that looks forward and anything that isn’t just there to please the reactionary forces of xenophobic chinless ex-bankers and the racist daughter of a vicar from Little England and an angry orange pensioner in the thrall of actual fucking Nazis.

On Sunday night I read a headline including the term “weaponized artificial lifeforms.” Shit’s gotten weird. There are people at Brandeis inventing an actual new form of matter called a self-propelling liquid. Dogs can detect cancer by sniffing a bandage. In the last couple of months, we’ve discovered evidence of two mass extinction events we previously didn’t know about. As of a week ago, NASA are tracking a star that orbits a black hole every thirty minutes. It’s all strange, and it’s all getting faster and faster, but it’s all also the stories of where we are right now.

And the cave paintings of Chauvet Pont D’Arc have just turned out to be older than anyone though. The cave art – the first narrative visual media in the world – is some thirty five thousand years old. The stories of where we were right then. That’s how long we’ve been doing this.

I have two great loves. History and the future. And I use them both as tools to try and see where I am right now, and to try and describe what I think it looks like. Which is also the work of journalism. Reportage and narrative. See how I connect everything together and make it look like I’m smart, while also clearly making shit up. I’ve been doing this a long time. One day you too will be able to bullshit like me.

But the future is where we’re all living tomorrow, and it’s down to us both to summon it and to look ahead to see what shape it may arrive in.

Speculative fiction and new forms of art and storytelling and innovations in technology and computing are engaged in the work of mad scientists: testing future ways of living and seeing before they actually arrive. We are the early warning system for the culture. We see the future as a weatherfront, a vast mass of possibilities across the horizon, and since we’re not idiots and therefore will not claim to be able to predict exactly where lightning will strike – we take one or more of those possibilities and play them out in our work, to see what might happen. Imagining them as real things and testing them in the laboratory of our practice – informed by our careful cross-contamination by many and various fields other than our own -- to see what these things do.

To work with the nature of the future, in media and in tech and in language, is to embrace being mad scientists, and we might as well get good at it.

—From his opening lecture at York St John University this year. I’m in awe of this man.

#warren ellis #is the man

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monosko · 4 years ago

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PRELIMINARY WORDS Calcutta acquires its distinctive flavour presumably from the fusion of characters grown in diverse cultural environs in distant lands. Being the first capital of modern India, the city attracted overseas traders, bread-earners, fortune hunters and travelers who spent varying length of their lives here amid the locals giving exposure of spectacular living styles and standards to them. Many of those were great names who had left for us textual and visual details, others left too little to trace back their lives in those maiden days of Town Calcutta still wrapped in haze. Much of the important constructs gone amiss in want of contexts culled from firsthand records, or from the secondary sources left by contemporaries. Reconstruction of the period can possibly be done only by collaging syntactically the fragments likewise promising many a surprise.

This portrait of Julius Soubise(1746-1798) a self-styled ‘African Prince’, is believed to be the long-forgotten work of Johan Jaffony referred to in the Reminiscences of Henry Angelo.(1830). See Notes

It is, indeed, surprising to know how many shades of skin the early visitors of Calcutta had and in how many different tongues they spoke. But more amazing was the loaded experience of the colourful past they had lived before landed in India. They looked different, thought different and did things differently for living. Those were the people who opened up new sources of learning to live in different ways beautifully in a plural society of modern time. The 18th century Calcutta with its formative society had welcomed the harbingers of change. Among them were two cavaliers of rare charms, both banished from their homelands apparently for guilt of chivalrous romancing. Julius Soubise the Caribbean boy groomed as a English dandy, and the French nobleman Antoine de l’Etang the personal bodyguard of Luis the XIV were contemporaries. Although l’Etang was 3 year senior by age, arrived later in 1796, while Soubise, nearly a decade before, in 1778.

JULIUS SOUBISE IN LONDON

Soubise may be said to have been born twice, the first time in London, next time in Calcutta. His two lives were opposite to each other but inseparable like day and night. This is why you must allow me to dwell upon his London life before narrating his life in Calcutta.

Catherine Hyde Douglas (1701-1777), Duchess of Queensberry, Painted by Jervas. 1720

Charles Douglas. 3rd Duke of Queensberry

CIS:E.2185-1949

Dominico Angelo, Italian fencer

Angelo’s Fencing School, Haymarket

Little we know of the Caribbean child, later grown to a notorious young dandy, a self-stylized ‘Black Prince’ in London high society, except that he was born around c.1754 in St. Kitts to a white planter father and a mother of African descent. The boy was sent under the guardianship of Captain Stair Douglas of Royal Navy to England. Reaching London on April 2nd 1764 he was given to the care of the captain’s cousin sister Kitty or Catherine Hyde Douglas, the Duchess of Queensberry (1701-1777) – an eccentric beauty and a socialite, known for her fondness for aprons. [Here is a portrait of her painted by Charles Jervas in the 1720s]

The Duchess apparently freed the boy from slavery and named him Julius Soubise, after Charles de Rohan, Prince of Soubise. [Miller] An all round education appropriate for the British genteel society was set out for him. The celebrated Italian master Angelo Dominic taught Soubise in gentle arts in his School of Arms. Soubise began to make his mark by 1772 – a decade before the rising popularity of amateur and competitive fencing matches cemented the sport’s position in the leisure economy of the fashionable world. He also became proficient at the violin and composed a few merry pieces in the Italian style, and even sang in a comic operatic manner. Soubise was a great favourite of David Garrick’s, the elder Sheridan gave him lessons on elocution, and was loved by some of the brightest luminaries of his time.

His rising success in such a young age inspired Soubise in modeling himself as the ‘Black Prince’ – an epitome of aristocratic masculinity – opened for him a reckless life of a ruthless womanizer and squanderer. He became a source of worries for the upper-class Britons because of not having any real contenders to stop Soubise demeaning the values and the image of the British nobility. As we find from the stray records fetched by recent scholars, the Duchess, alone had the key role in upbringing Soubise in baronial fashion. She maintained a house in town for Soubise, as well a liveried carriage to take him around, and all amenities for leading his foppish life. She herself suffered often from his heedless drives, but made no attempt to check him firmly, probably due to her kindly feelings toward the black boy less than half of her age. The vanguards of the high society in London thought that circulation of a scandalous cartoon involving Soubise and the Duchess should be a sure measure to stall Soubise by embarrassing him as well as his patron the Duchess, and his mentor Dominico Angelo all at once.

A satirical picture depicting Soubise and the Duchess of Queensbury engaged in a fencing match, an engraving of Austin brought about on May 1,1773

“Macaroni” was a contemporary name for a fashionable young man; “Mungo” was a name of an officious slave from the 1769 comic opera The Padlock

On May 1, 1773, they brought about a satirical picture depicting Soubise and the Duchess of Queensbury engaged in a fencing match, an engraving of Austin based on illustrations of fencing compiled by the Angelo fencing dynasty. Duchess Catherine and Angelo are thus implicated in the most disgraceful public attack on Soubise. As researchers think, it would be a mistake to read the cartoon’s use of fencing as merely allegorical, or to assume that the duchess is the cartoon’s only target. In fact, the cartoon also implicates Dominico Angelo. Besides William Austin’s engraving, there have been most notably, A Mungo Macaroni (published September 10, 1772), part of a famous 1771-73 satirical series of engravings depicting fashionable young men, published by Matthew and Mary Darly.

In some sense, Cohen pointed out, “the ultimate target of the cartoon is neither Soubise nor the Duchess of Queensberry, nor even Angelo, but the market economy in which the trappings of rank could be indiscriminately bought and sold.” [Cohen. 2018] The satire was of poor taste and offensive in nature. It must have dampened the spirit of Soubise at least temporarily, and the Duchess felt obliged to bring him back to his good senses to the possible extent. As it appears, Soubise used to stay at Angelo’s, yet remained a favourite of the Duchess who continued to take care of his fads and follies and pay off his large debts quietly. Things suddenly went out of her hand when the Duchess got informed that ‘one of her maids had been raped by Soubise’. She tried to dissuade the woman in vain from going to court. [Sandhu] It was probably from the Duchess, Angelo came to know of the kind of fast life Soubise had been leading in his private apartments where he assumed the habits of an extravagant man of fashion in company of succession of visitors in rooms decorated with roses, geranium, and expensive green-house plants. It was Angelo on whose recommendation, Soubise was sent to India at the expense of the Duchess. [Miller] The Duchess had hardly any option but to arrange passage for Soubise to flee the country he was so madly in love. It was the tragic end of her cherished relationship with the little black boy she brought up as a social rebel decrying against racialist, xenophobic and moralist sentiments in her own fashion. She died of eating too much cherries on June 17th 1777 [Fryer]. Next month Soubise sailed for Calcutta on July 15th 1777 [Sandhu] to start another life very different from the one vanished with the passing of his noble patroness.

III

SOUBISE IN CALCUTTA

On July 15, Julius Soubise left the English shore boarding the Bessborough East Indiaman under the captaincy of Alexander Montgomerie. The ship reached Madras via Media and Cape on 9 February 1778 [Three Decks]. In those days river trips from a South India port to Calcutta would take about three weeks. It could not be any earlier than March 1778 Soubise arrived at Calcutta’s Chandpal Ghat where large vessels used to embark. Almost a nameless black boy of twenty-three, Soubise landed in the small township of Calcutta leaving back his gorgeous past of princely life assuredly protected by the Duchess of Queensberry till her last. Soubise wanted her most to be at his side while starting a new life of a labouring common man instead.

Nabakissen’s Evening Party attended by Calcutta British and European families

Begum Johnstone, the grandmother of the Earl of Liverpool

Calcutta was then ‘the grave of thousands, but a mine of inexhaustible wealth’. [Long] Already the capital of British India, Calcutta was still then a small township resurrected from the ashes of Lalbagh Battle centering around the Customs House amid the ruins of the old Fort William. Clive Street was then ‘the grand theatre of business’, and there stood the Council House, and every public mart in it. The day Soubise landed, there was no Mint, no Calcutta Gazette, no Asiatic Society of Bengal, but a Court House to render legal services as well as facilities of balls and theatrical acts besides running of the charity school for which the building was funded by the Lottery Committee and Omichand a Rothschild of India. Calcutta had ‘a noble play-house—but no church’, service was held in a room next to the Black Hole. The St John Church – the first Anglican Cathedral of Calcutta was founded by Lord Hastings on the land donated by the Hindu Nabokissen in 1874. [Long] All these institutions nevertheless came up one after another in the presence of Soubise. There were, however, no dearth of amusement and recreation with theatrical houses, hotels and coffee shops for the white population, largely Englishmen, Eurasians, few Americans. The presence of native society in Tank Square vicinity was imperceptible, excepting a few men of affairs like Omichand and Nabokissen. Those days the influence of the fabled socialite, Begum Johnstone, the grandmother of the Earl of Liverpool, prevailed over the lifestyle of Calcutta’s citizenry. Till ten at night, their houses were lit up in their best style, and thrown open for the reception of visitors. There were music and dancing for the young, and cards for the old. Common people live both splendidly and pleasantly, the forenoons being dedicated to business, and after dinner [= midday meal] to rest, and in the evening to recreate themselves in chaises or palanquins in the fields, or to gardens, or by water in their budgeroes. [Blockmann] The condition of Calcutta was not too kind to the young men fresh from school, lavishing large sums on horse-racing, dinner parties, contracting large loans with Banians, who clung to them for life like leeches, and quartered their relations on them throughout their Indian career.

It was perhaps the most critical phase in Calcutta history that Soubise witnessed during the last two decades of the 18th century. This was the time when Calcutta extended itself far beyond its boundary limits to the jungle, covering one-third of the Company’s territories, inhabited only by wild beasts, and in Chowringhee, between Dhurrumtollah and Brijitalao, where the new colony of the Europeans was being stretched out. The changing scenario of the Town Calcutta growing into the City of Palace can be envisioned by looking into the earliest Calcutta maps charted by Aaron Upjohn and Mark Wood, and going over the innumerous paintings of world-class artists, like Thomas and William Daniells, Thomas Hickey, Tilly Kettle, William Hodges, John Zoffany, and others. Within a year after the momentous duel fought between Lord Hastings and Sir Francis on 17 August 1777, Soubise entered the Calcutta scene prospecting as an accomplished lancer, a musician, and a horseman.

ENTREPRENEURIAL VENTURES Settlers of those days were hospitable. As we learn from an anonymous account of travels (1760—1768), “there was no part Hospitality of the world where people part with their money to assist each other so freely as the English in India.” [Anon. Edin. Mag.] We might have then some reasons to believe that Soubise had not been left all by himself totally incapacitated in his ventures, if not black-skinned.

Soubise took a couple of years to initiate the business plans he designed after his mentor Dominico Angelo’s model. It was from Angelo, Soubise equipped himself with the arts of aristocratic sportsmanship – horse-riding and fencing, and also some marketing skills as well. Before he formally inaugurated his Riding Academy on Thursday, November 7, 1780, Soubise had started teaching fencing. We understand from an insertion, most likely by Soubise himself published in Bengal Gazette of November 4, 1780, that next Thursday Mr. Soubise will open his Manège for the reception of the horses. His Fencing days will be shifted to Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. The next thing he did was staging Othello in the Theatre commemorating his first business venture in Calcutta. The Bengal Gazette declared sometime between 9th and 12th December that the Managers of the Theatre generously offered to give a benefit play to Mr. Soubise, toward the completion of his Manège. Mr. Soubise will appear on that night in the character of Othello. And afterward perform the part of Mungo in the entertainment ….. The part of Iago will be attempted by the Author of the Monitor, and Desdemona by Mr. H. a gentleman of doubtful Gender. [Bengal Gazette, Dec. 9th-12th 1780] Here, the reference to Mr. H. seems to be to Hickey himself, the editor of Bengal Gazette, who was known as an eccentric Irishman. Hickey’s acting or posing as a person of neutral sex may have been one of his eccentricities as Cohen maintains but it was perfectly in tune with the contemporary practices followed in the British stage in London as well as in Calcutta she pointed out. [Cohen. 2018].

Four years after, in 1784, Soubise set up his Fencing School advantageously housed behind Harmonic, the famous tavern of 18th century Calcutta, stood opposite the Lall Bazaar Police Court. As announced in the Calcutta Gazette on Thursday, June 24, 1784, Soubise proposes to teach the art of fencing against a nominal fees of two Gold Mohurs for the entry and two Gold Mohurs for tuition per month. His days are Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Such Gentlemen as choose to take private lessons at their own house’s, will be attended on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays; in which case his terms are three Gold Mohurs entrance, and three Gold Mohurs per mouth. [Seton-Karr]

Soubise was preparing for his new riding school since early 1788. Fort William reportedly granted him permission to run the school vide Calcutta Gazette April 24, 1788. The most enthralling publicity feat Soubise brought about for his new venture was an event report he made to appear in the Calcutta Chronicle of December 11, 1788. The report clearly reflects the way his businesses were packaged for a defined clientele belonging to Calcutta society as Domino used to do it in London. The report went as follows:

“Yesterday morning, early, the manly exercise of horsemanship was practiced at the Manège, by the scholars of Mr. Soubise, before a very numerous assembly. After the practice was over, near two hundred of the principal people of the settlement sat down to an elegant breakfast provided on the occasion. Breakfast being over, a ball was given, and the ladies and gentlemen were so highly delighted, that it was not without evident signs of regret, they relinquished such a pleasing and health-giving source of amusement …” [Calcutta Chronicle of December 11, 1788] Soubise in his manège taught “more than just horsemanship: it offered education in – as well as the opportunity to take part in a simulative performance of – English gentility”.[Cohen. 2020] Notwithstanding his best motive and organizational capability time and again he failed to take off.

“The newspapers that document these years are a chronicle of his financial instability. Soubise placed advertisements to publicize his new ventures – fencing lessons, horse riding lessons, sales of the mare. Those were followed at regular intervals by notices of insolvency. Yet, whether imprisoned for debt, hounded by creditors, or suffered the sale of his stables at auction, Soubise inevitably bounced back with new ventures”. [Cohen, 2020]

So far we have seen him in Calcutta, Soubise was a master performer and zealous teacher – a man of extraordinary talent in public entertainment with full of ideas for publicity and promotion, yet success eluded him in Calcutta. Soubise lost every business opportunity he created but never let go his indomitable spirit to start anew over and over again. His social and personal life too was rarely without unwelcome events. We come to know from Calcutta Gazette of 26 March 1789 that Soubise survived a brush with death when a French neighbour took a razor to his throat. He bore a ‘large Scar on the left side of the Throat’ from this encounter until his death.

Portrait of Nathaniel Middleton.by Tilly Kettle c.1784.

Lucknow After recovery, Soubise disappeared from Calcutta scene for three years while he stayed in Lucknow. One of his attractions was the famed stable of Nawab of Awadh . Soubise got acquainted with many distinguished people. It was told that a gentleman who held a high station in the east, known by the appellation of Memory Middleton, became a friend and patron of Soubise at Lucknow. [Angelo ] The gentleman could have been none other than Nathaniel Middleton a closed associate of Warren Hastings who sent him at the court of Nawab as the Resident. Middleton got involved in the lengthy dispute between Hastings and his Bengal Council, which eventually led to Hastings’ impeachment. However, since Middleton had resigned from the East India Company in 1784 and went back to England much before Soubise arrived at Lucknow, no meeting ever taken place between the two contrary to the general belief. [Stonopedia] Before Soubise left Lucknow at the end of 1791, he had developed some good connections with high officials of the Stables of the Awadhi court, some of the largest and best on the Indian subcontinent, which he exploited later. Calcutta meanwhile prepared to move south with completion of the Esplanade ground after getting the Dhurrumtollah Tank constructed. He took quite some time to resettle.

PRIVATE LIFE VS SOCIAL ISSUES This was the time when Soubise met Miss Catherine Pawson, a pretty and progressive young lady, popularly known as Kate. She was the only daughter of William Pawson, a good friend of Richard Blechynden (1759-1822), who became a soar critic and an reluctant business patron of Soubise.

Eduardo Territa, Active by James Gillrayi(Activen 1792

Richard Blechynden. Courtesy: Gerald Johnson Fox

Blechynden arrived in Calcutta in 1786 at the age of 22 years, and since then worked in various capacity – as a civil engineer, architect, or building contractor on his own, and sometimes worked under the Superintendent of Streets and Buildings – an Italian architect called Eduardo Tiretta of the Tiretta Bazaar fame. Blechynden also had a share in the Chronicle newspaper. Although he lived in rented houses in town, Blechynden spent his leisure time hunting in the manner of an English squire in “Belle Couchée” – a grand garden house with stables he owned at North-East Calcutta, off Dum Dum (later ‘Belgatchya’) road, about an hour’s walk from Tank Square. By 1806, after renovations, it turned into a very large, lower-roomed house with plenty of grounds and a tank of excellent water. It looks like, this had been the original premises of the legendary Belgachia Garden House and Blechynden its first owner before the property was sold to Lord Auckland and then passed on to Dwarkanath Tagore.

Rammohun Roy 1772-1833

Dwarkanath Tagore 1794-1847

In spite of his multiple income sources, Blechynden was not always financially steady, particularly in those days of French War, neither was his friend William Pawson. On coming to India, Pawson, son of a London wine merchant, joined the East India Company in 1765 and held the position of Paymaster General [Busteed]. He was dismissed in 1781 on the abolition of Provincial Councils. Depending on a small allowance he was permitted to draw, Pawson lead a humble life with his daughter. Although Blechynden, Pawson, and many like them, struggled with debts in 1790s, they nonetheless considered themselves genteel. Catharine Pawson, a member of the ‘polite society’ like her father, never cared much for social sanctions and taboos. “Upon making her acquaintance in 1793, Blechynden ‘thought she was very forward for a young lady’. A newspaper poem published by one of her admirers gives a similar impression, as does her penchant for acting, an activity considered out of bounds for gentlewomen.” Blechynden believed “her attitude undermined her class identity and social standing.” He might have felt something more than that – that it was not she alone but her family and friends too were at risk. The fear and anxiety of social rejection disturbed Blechynden’s peace of mind. His debts, his inability to pay salary to his staff, his gradual loss of hearing – were some of his moral and physical failings that made him apprehensive of social repercussion. The latest however was the shock he received from his friend’s freakish daughter and her scandalous affair with Soubise the ‘Coffree’ boy of a questionable character. Later, when Blechynden heard about their engagement, he could hardly conceal his indignation from the bride’s father, ‘I had heard, but scarcely knew how to believe it’. Pawson had no answer for him but openly speculated as much, that ‘he supposed the Coffree screwed her up tight — and that was the reason she preferred him’. [Cohen. 2020]

It was not interracial marriage as such that vexed Blenchynden’s mind. As Cohen pointed out, ”especially among men of Blechynden’s milieu, who tended to establish long-term relationships with Indian ‘bibis, albeit often outside the legal institution of marriage.’ In fact, between 1792 and 1809, Blechynden fathered two sons and six illegitimate children by four mothers – two Indian Muslim, one Indian or Eurasian, and one India-born Eurasian bibi.

Blechynden acted like a responsible father by providing the children with English education and did nothing exceptional against the norms of the then Calcutta society. Two noblemen of his time, Major General Claude Martin and the business tycoon William Palmer had their children by native mothers socially recognized as their wives unlike all others. [Puronokolkata] Of course, in the case of Soubise’s marriage the racialization of gender was contrary to the conventional model. White men marrying black women were not unheard of in Job Charnock’s settlement, as he himself took a deshi wife, and many followed him thereafter. But the interracial marriage in opposite direction, that is, white-women marrying black-men most probably did not take place in colonial India ever before, although hundreds of Indian Lascars of British ships espoused English wives in England for more than two centuries.

Major William Palmer with his second wife, the Mughal princess Bibi Faiz Bakhsh by Johann Zoffany, 1785.

It was hardly possible for Blechynden to judge Soubise by common social parameters as they belonged to different layers of the English society at two different cultural setups, one in London, the other in Calcutta. In London, Soubise ‘was taken up by fashionable society, became a fop among fops, used expensive scent, went around in a liveried carriage, a favourite of Garrick, brushed shoulders with some of the brightest luminaries of his time. He was Britain’s first Black Dandy, and a virtual socialite.[Fryer] Whereas, “the Calcutta social milieu Soubise entered after his marriage was a world away from such exalted circles.” [Cohen. 2020] What bothered Blechynden was the class identity and social standing rather than ethnicity issues. Catherine’s wedding, he feared, should undermine the very ground on which Catherine stood with her people socially connected. It was more so because the black man here was none but Julius Soubise, an African by birth, overly proud of his own black figure reminding an Othello. Blechynden, with his racist mind-set could not stand the air of self-importance and arrogance of Soubise. Blechynden hoped, Soubise being a chronic debtor and all-around rogue, could hardly promise to make an ideal husband. But he was all wrong and he came to realize that in later days and admitted it with a shade of repentance when Soubise was no more. It was Blechynden who investigated if Soubise did actually married Catharine and found that they did marry but in Portuguese Church by Padre Geovan showing their limited positioning in polite society.

Belying her father’s friend Blechynden’s forebodings, Catherine wedded Soubise and remained devotedly in love with him. She never ever left side of Soubise while passing through a series of challenges up to the end of his tormented life, physically decrepit and financially bankrupt. Soubise, even in his worst time never stopped admiring his wife’s beauty. We see him saying to his guests at dinner “I declare my wife grows handsomer every day”, and sportively to his wife, ‘I wish I had a couple of you!”.

It looks like Soubise with his family had been staying around Lall Bazar-Cossitollah area for more than a decade until he moved into Dhurrumtollah neighborhood. His new establishment, Calcutta Repository was ready by early 1795. The Calcutta Gazette published on February 19th, 1795 an elaborate description with a complete business profile of the Calcutta Repository, including its services, facilities, locale and t&c. Very likely, the news report was penned and sponsored by Soubise himself.

CALCUTTA REPOSITORY “Mr. Soubise having observed that the disagreeable and ill-contrived stables in which many gentlemen’s horses stand in Calcutta, and even in home that are more convenient, the smell, noise, and mosquitoes they occasion, has long had a wish to erect a set(?) of spacious, airy, and convenient stables, upon a plan of his own, for the accommodation of the Settlement; and having at length, by the patronage of some of his friends, been enabled to carry it into execution, he tenders his Calcutta Repository to his friends, his subscribers, and the public in general. As every convenience that could possibly be devised has been adopted to render them complete, he flatters himself they are, without exception, the best stables of any in India; and as Mr. Soubise’s professional knowledge and long residence in the country enable him to pay every requisite attention to that noble animal, the horse, he hopes to obtain a share of that liberal patronage which has so often distinguished this Settlement. The Repository, which in now open for the reception of horses, is situated to the north of, and nearly behind Sherburne’s Bazar [where Chandni Market now located], leading from the Cossitollah down Emambarry Lane, and from the Dhurumtollah by the lane to the west of Sherburnc’s Bazar.

With a view to the further convenience of the Settlement, Mr. Soubise has erected one [range?] of stables, nine feet wide, for the accommodation of breeding mares, or horse who have colts at their side. There are likewise carriage houses, with gates, locks and keys to each, which render them very complete. The terms of the Repository are made as reasonable as possible and are twenty-three Sicca Rupees per month, in which is included every expense (medicines excepted) for standing, syce, grass-cutter, feeding, and shoeing, and for standing at Livery only at five Rupees per stall. Further particulars may be known on application to Mr. Soubise at his dwelling house, near the Repository, or at the menage.”

The Repository was the last major effort Soubise made with Mr. Pawson as his partner. Pawson invested a good amount of money he borrowed from Blechynden but had no luck to pay him back. This project failed as every other one did. Returned from Lucknow, the idea of trading horses came naturally to a clever horseman like Soubise, who knew all about horses. The first horse race of India was held at Akra on January 16, 1794, where Soubise must have been present to enjoy the inspiring mounted sports and became alive to a potentially big market of horses in Calcutta. Besides, the growing demands of war horses after Plassey, and carriage horses with the road expansions there always a niche market for the horse as a luxury commodity. Being in India for nearly a decade Soubise had enough exposure to realize that the horse trade was a risky game, but for an over-confident man like Soubise the first concern was the money to fuel his business, and that too not so much a problem for him being a shrewd negotiator in credit manipulation – so long the project was profitable enough. But as we know, luck seldom favoured Soubise. Out of the amount of Rs. 5000/- Pawson borrowed from Blechynden, Soubise lost Rs 3500 on the horses of Awadh stables that Saadat Ali Khan sent him in August 1796. In the same month, Soubise was imprisoned ‘for shortchanging a customer on the sale of a horse in another complicated credit transaction.’ Pawson’s stables were later sold by lottery and the lotto winner made an offer to Blechynden but he was not ready with the money. Ultimately the stables went to De l’Etang who completed the deal by December 1797.

VII

FINAL YEARS

Blechynden noted in his diary that the final three years of Soubise’s life were a downward spiral. The stabling proved unprofitable and by 1795. Soubise was already looking out for new revenue streams. Blechynden noticed with dismay, Pawson was in a mood to seriously consider Soubise’ latest fad for setting up an Auction House at the ‘old Harmonic’ – the grand tavern equipped with spacious accommodation once used for holding large parties, and ball. Blechynden was perturbed: ‘how then could Soubise prosper without money—without interest—without friends — and without a particle of public confidence’? He sounded genuinely worried. But didn’t Soubise dare to take such a challenge many a time since he landed in Calcutta? A failure could not deter him ever to take another stake in another sphere of business. Besides running horse-riding and fencing schools, and livery stables, Soubise worked for the East India Company conducting breaking-in of military horses. As suggested in an unverified source, Soubise might have also tried out an unfamiliar field like keeping a bookshop in Calcutta – the only shop of its kind owned by a man of African origin.

Before launching his Auction House Soubise planned for establishing a ‘temporary’ Riding House. Why did he call it ‘temporary’ we are not sure. Perhaps that he wanted to generate a quick money to meet some pressing expenses or meant this experimental in scope.What we know for certain is that his plan was inspired by his recent rapport with Nilmoni Halder, a resourceful Bengali businessman of Bowbazar. He came forward from outside Soubise’s circle, to support him with money and encouragement. The Calcutta Gazette advertised Riding House on July 5, 1798 inviting public attention to its sessions. We had no idea, however, how it all went off, but his other plan, a promotional theatrical evening at Calcutta Theatre was performed successfully on March 7, 1798 where ‘Kate’ (nickname of Mrs. Catherine Soubise) was reportedly ‘played with great applause’ [Busteed ?] Next Monday, on the 12th, the Calcutta Theatre presented the Comedy of of the Chapter of Accidents by Miss Lee was staged for the benefit of Mrs Soubise.

There was no indication that Soubise himself took any part in that evening; perhaps he did not. Soubise, a stage-artist groomed by Garrick, an elocutionist tutored by the elder Sheridan, a gifted violinist and singer, was surely expected on stage playing a stunning show befitting to the occasion. The sole reason for his remaining behind the screen might have been his suffering from intense rheumatism he was suffering from last few years.

The Riding House, that started on July 5, made way to the sudden accidental fall of Soubise from a devilish Arabian stallion on August 24. Blechynden found him in the Gallery laying on a mat, perspiring profusely — his head was slightly cut behind — but his Skull did not feel fractured. Blechynden saw blood oozing out of his right ear, and immediately sensed the blow was not only very dangerous but most probably mortal. Pawson and Mrs. Soubise went to the Hospital and remained with him till he died the next day from hemorrhaging in his brain. The death of Julius Soubise was reported in the Calcutta Gazette on 25th August 1798, and entered in the Asiatic Annual Register, vol.1 1798-99.

Within a week, Calcutta Gazette on August 30, 1798 reported the ‘Sale of Horses by Public Auction’ to be held every Wednesday at 10 o‘Clock in the forenoon. It was the beautiful Arabian saddle ‘Noisy’ – a property of Joseph Thomas Brown – to be on auction sale for the benefit of Mrs Soubise. The auctioneer Mr. A. L’Etang was the nobleman who alongside Mr. Blechynden rushed to see Soubise at the site of the accident. We will find him again in closer perspective in the forthcoming episode of magnificent horsemen.

Soubise’s death turned Blechynden, his worst critic in Calcutta, into a compassionate ally, appreciative of his talents and aggrieved at his tragic end. Blechynden did not press his friend Pawson or Mrs Soubise to repay his loan but could not save them from financial distress. Mrs Soubise with her father and children moved in a barrack, possibly one of the Bow Barrack quarters. Mr. Pawson passed away in 1802 leaving his daughter Catherine alone with her children William and Mary. We know nothing for sure about Catherine and her daughter Mary (baptized on 20 June 1785). William Soubise, an assistant in the Sudder Dewanhy Adawlat, married Flora Ward in 1819, and Maria was born to them on April 25, 1821, and Henry in 1824 (died in his teens). In 1839, Maria was married to James Bernadotte Vallente. William Soubise died on July 9, 1841 at the age of 43 at Calcutta.

VIII

END NOTES

If high fashion and luxurious life of love with a fair lady is an offence for a black gentleman then Michael Madhusudan Dutta, the Bengal’s celebrity poet of the next century Calcutta, was no lesser offender. The British-African Soubise was driven out of country by the racists and got blackballed by their counterpart British-India society in Calcutta, otherwise laudable for their camaraderie and supportive spirit. Madhusudan flared, as he had a friend like Vidyasagar to help the pauper to live princely regardless of social decry and hostility that had strangled Soubise to death.

Michael Madhusudan Dutta, 1824-1873

Ishwarchandra Vidyasagar, 1820-1891

It is interesting to note that both of his contemporary authors believed that the accidental death of Soubise was particularly tragic because of two separate reasons. Angelo writes “departed from his former thoughtless habits, his talents and address had placed him in the way to fortune.”[Angelo] Blechynden seemingly believed that having had Nilmoni Halder as a dependable impartial partner “a career was at length opened to him of getting out of his difficulties, in short, we can better spare a better man.” [Blechynden] This was the first time Soubise had a chance to overcome the racist resistance since he was ousted from the British society and exiled to colonial India inflicted with politically influenced racial hatred. In an environment of mistrust, Soubise had little opportunity to secure business credit on fair terms. Often he had to take deceptive means and ended up in jail; or prayed and rejected, for an instance, Soubise requested Blechynden to be one of his securities to the Asiatic Society for Rs 5000. Blechynden lied and declined politely.

Soubise did not leave anything in writing for us, except a specimen of his stylish love letters. There have been luckily two important documents of his contemporary writers: Henry Angelo the memoirist, and Richard Blechynden the diarist, providing significant events of Soubise’s life, and some scholarly works of recent writers that critically reviewed and analyzed those facts to portray Soubise meaningfully in modern contexts. In my modest attempt to restate Soubise’s life in the ethnocentric settings of the last score of the 18th century Calcutta, I remain indebted to Ashley Cohen and Peter Robb in particular for using their in-depth studies extensively.

NOTES This portrait of Julius Soubise(1746-1798) an Afro-British self-styled ‘African Prince’, is believed to be the long-forgotten work of Johan Jaffony referred to in the Reminiscences of Henry Angelo (1830). Until now, the pastel painting has been identified and re-identified with some nameless black servant or an ‘African prince’ attributed to John Russell, or toOzius Humphry.

Joffany painted Soubise’s portrait either in London before 1777 when Soubise left for Calcutta or in Calcutta between 1773-1789 when Zoffany visited India to paint number of masterpieces like Mordaunt’s Cock Fight (1784–86) Last Supper (1787) and significant portraits of dignitaries like Warran Hastings, Asaf-ud-Daula. Courtesy: Tate gallery.

See more: https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/humphry-baron-nagells-running-footman-t13796

REFERENCE Ajantrik. 2017. “Fort-City Calcutta, A Faded Legacy.” Puronokolkata.Com. 2017. https://puronokolkata.com/2017/08/15/fort-city-calcutta-a-faded-legacy/.

Angelo, Henry. 1830. Reminiscences of Henry Angelo; with Memoirs of His Late Father and Friends .. Oxford University. Vol. 1. London: Colburn and Bentley. https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=xsK6QCfrXPQC&hl=en.

Anonymous. 2004. “Middleton Nathaniel.” Sotonopedia. 2004. http://sotonopedia.wikidot.com/page-browse:middleton-nathaniel.

Blechynden, Richard. 2011. Sentiment and Self: Richard Blechynden’s Calcutta Diaries, 1791–1822. Edited by Peter Robb. New Delhi: Oxford U P. https://books.google.com.au/books?id=9PQtDwAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=gbs_ge_summary_r&cad=0#v=onepage&q&f=false.

Blochmann, Henry. 1868. Calcutta during Last Century: A Lecture. Calcutta: Thomas Smith. https://books.google.com.au/books/about/Calcutta_During_Last_Century.html?id=1iIUvwEACAAJ&redir_esc=y.

Busteed, Henry Elmsley. 1908. Echoes from Old Calcutta; Being Chiefly Reminiscences of the Days of Warren Hastings, Francis and Impey. London: Thacker. https://archive.org/details/echoesfromoldcal00bustuoft.

Cohen, Ashley. 2018. “Fencing and the Market in Aristocratic Masculinity.” In Sporting Cultures, 1650-1850., edited by Alexis Tadie Daniel O Quinn. Toronto: Toronto University. https://books.google.com.au/books?redir_esc=y&id=xoBSDwAAQBAJ&q=soubise#v=snippet&q=soubise&f=false.

Cohen, Ashley. 2020. “Julious Soubise in India.” In Britain’s Black Past, edited by Gretchen H Gerzinz. Liverpool: Liverpool U.P. https://books.google.com.au/books?id=ojfWDwAAQBAJ&pg=PA215&lpg=PA215&dq=julius+soubise+britain%27s+black+past&source=bl&ots=If5xkJmj-y&sig=ACfU3U3_7EEHLEjLsSShYgWW59kbgjMFcg&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjU3MD0mrPoAhXzwTgGHfayC6cQ6AEwBnoECAsQAQ#v=onepage&q=julius.

Dahiya, Hema. 2013. Shakespeare Studies in Colonial Bengal: The Early Phase. New Castle Upon Tyne: Cambridge Scholars. https://books.google.com.au/books?id=hiBJDAAAQBAJ&pg=PP4&lpg=PP4&dq=Dahiya,+Hema.+(2013).+Shakespeare+studies+in+Colonial+Bengal:+the+early+phase.+New+Castle+upon+Tyne:+Cambridge+Scholars.&source=bl&ots=nSfRNhXIup&sig=ACfU3U2r7ne30FqWFwdLv1GM8IA-mFJVdQ&hl.

Fryer, Peter. 1984. Staying Power: The History of Black People in Britain. London: Pluto. https://books.google.com.au/books?redir_esc=y&id=J8rVeu2go8IC&q=soubise#v=snippet&q=soubise&f=false.

Long, Rev. James. 1859. “Calcutta in the Olden Time – Its Localities : Map of Calcutta, 1792-3.” Calcutta Review 36. https://doi.org/10.1016/0003-6870(73)90259-7.

Miller, Monica. 2009. Slaves and Fashion: Black Dynamism and the Styling of Black Diasporic Identity. London: Duke U.P. https://books.google.com.au/books?redir_esc=y&id=Bh4I_r6qV_8C&q=soubise#v=snippet&q=soubise&f=false.

Spencer, Elizabeth. 2015. “The Female Phaeton: Catherine Douglas, the Duchess Who Set the World on Fire.” In Difficutwomenconference May 1, 2015. https://difficultwomenconference.wordpress.com/2015/05/01/the-female-phaeton-catherine-douglas-the-duchess-who-set-the-world-on-fire/.

Sukhdev, Sandhu. 2003. London Calling: How Black and Asian Writers Imagined a City. London: Harper. https://www.harpercollins.com.au/9780006532149/london-calling-how-black-and-asian-writers-imagined-a-city/.

JULIUS SOUBISE: A MAGNIFICENT HORSEMAN IN 18TH CENTURY CALCUTTA

I PRELIMINARY WORDS Calcutta acquires its distinctive flavour presumably from the fusion of characters grown in diverse cultural environs in distant lands.

JULIUS SOUBISE: A MAGNIFICENT HORSEMAN IN 18TH CENTURY CALCUTTA I PRELIMINARY WORDS Calcutta acquires its distinctive flavour presumably from the fusion of characters grown in diverse cultural environs in distant lands.

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tessatechaitea · 6 years ago

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Team Titans #20

Is it sexist to point out cameltoe?

It's been about two weeks since I read a Team Titans comic book so I can't remember what was happening, which is probably a good thing. It's nice to see that my brain apparently has some kind of organic Roomba that cleans up after I've soiled my mind with terrible media choices. Revamping my old Patreon page has kept me away from re-reading terrible old comic books. If you enjoy my take on comic books perhaps you'll enjoy my take on The Bible? Or if you don't like reading astoundingly insightful and probably pretty funny commentary on The Bible if it costs you as little as one dollar per month, you can still bookmark the site because you'll get three free song reviews each week too! But if you want me to review a particular song, you'll have to give me money. I don't give my wisdom away for free! I mean, I do! But only in certain circumstances. I think what was happening in this comic book was a right-wing corporate and media conglomerate asshole (much like Rupert Murdoch) was preparing to time travel into the future where he could take the place of Lord Chaos and rule the world. It's the kind of plan only an idiotic super villain in a comic book could come up with. Any real life super villain would think, "I have so much money and power right now in a world I recognize, why should I risk everything by traveling into an unknown future where my biggest enemies await? Better to just buy a private island in the present and look at porn all day." But for some reason, comic book super villains are never satisfied. They never think, "I could retire with the amount of money it's going to cost me to create this death satellite!" The always think, "Man, having lots of money really kills your ambition. Maybe I should use it to endanger my freedom and possibly my life?" Idiots!

Based on these silhouettes, one of Lord Murdoch's henchman is just a gigantic sentient penis.

The Team Titans leader for the future narrates the big battle so maybe we'll soon find out who the mysterious leader really is! I think I've been guessing Terry Long throughout most of this re-read because who else could it be? Unless Terry's kid has one of those comic book experiences that ages him quickly, he probably won't be leading the team as a nine year old. Although I can't think why I'm ruling that out when I easily accepted Nightwing once driving a motorcycle straight up a skyscraper and Starfire falling in love with Wolfman-written Nightwing. A few pages into the battle, a bunch of Team Titans members (not from the titular and most important team!) begin to die. First killed is Gunsmoke. You might not remember Gunsmoke because Gunsmoke was a terrible name and Gunsmoke never did anything except help provide some context on the plot. We learned from Gunsmoke that the Team Titans were spread out all across history because the Team Titans leader created a truly inept time machine. Gunsmoke's last words (aside from "Arrrggghhhhh!") are "Great. Don't tell me y'all saved my butt in the Old West just so I can get it kicked in 1994." I guess in 1994, creating a character that's simply a guy dressed like a cowboy didn't cut the editor's mustard. The second character to die is Monsieur Poniard of Judge and Jury. He should thank his terrible name for cutting his comic book career short. "Mister Dagger," even in French, just isn't going to inspire the kind of terror that a super villain should inspire. And, yes, I'm aware of how many terribly mundane and crappy names exist within the DC Universe! I'm just saying, "One less is a good start." The third Team Titan to die is a nameless Titan in the background of Monsieur Poniard's death. She (or he) has orange hair and wears a purple costume so I think we can all agree why he (or she) had to die. You know, because Starfire already had claims on that terrible color combination. After Lazarium (Lord Murdoch's super villain name) takes down the main Team Titans in one blast, he jokes, "I love the smell of ozone in the morning." I know that's supposed to be a joke because he says, "Heh heh," immediately after. Earlier, Blue (unless it was Green or Purple or Yellow. Remember, the colorist of this current story arc is an idiot) quipped, "Yeah, and monkeys might fly outta my -- OOOOF!" So we have all the evidence we need that Jeff Jensen's main writing crutch is movie and television quotes. The fourth Team Titans to die is Two Gallon Hat.

I often come up with characters for my stories that I know are stupid but I insert them into it anyway simply so that other characters can call them stupid.

While all of the other Titans from throughout history are being slaughtered by Lazarium's henchmen (where did he get henchmen who put such effort into henchmanning?! I bet he pays a living wage, offers great health care choices, and provides a hefty pension), Mirage remains stuck in traffic on the streets below.

If only Mirage could easily do something to keep from being recognized!

I don't know what she did with Deathwing but I hope it involved a hedge clipper and a blender. Mirage steps out of the cab to find Cokie Walters staring at the corpse of Two Gallon Hat. Cokie apologizes for some reason which leads to Mirage threatening Cokie if she doesn't help Mirage save the Titans. Now how the hell is a bubble gum gossip reporter supposed to help with that?! "Mister Lazarium! Mister Lazarium! Is it true you pee through the gate instead of over the fence?!" Realizing that the Titans have met their match, Terra resorts to pleading her case: "Lazarium! No! Please — you can't just kill us like this!" Lazarium, who is a super villain who has really thought out his plan and understands the power of a truly great one-liner, replies smartly: "Oh, yes, I can, Terra — especially you!" I just got goosebumps reading that! Although after the Wayne's World and Apocalypse Now lines from earlier, maybe Jensen stole this retort from a movie too. Wasn't this the great line from the end of Die Hard 2: Dying Ain't My Thing when Bruce Willis sets the airplane fuel alight? Five hundred and thirty Titans got there asses handed to them by Lazarium and his goons. But not to worry because Prester Jon, Redwing, Battalion, Donna Troy, and just-out-of-a-coma Nightrider have arrived to save the day! And don't think they're going to do it silently! Battalion has a new battle cry that I can't believe didn't catch on with the youth of 1994.

How was this not one of the best selling DC posters of 1994?

Battalion goes down in one shot. Most of the characters will probably go down in one shot because Killowat will probably need to prove himself. Will saving the world from Lazarium be enough to make Mirage forget he's a racist jerk? Hopefully not! The first person to nearly put Lazarium down is called Liquid Joe. Being that he's called Liquid Joe, you know he's not going to wind up being the hero. His blast of slime doesn't even faze Lazarium. Time for Cokie and Mirage to save Killowat so Killowat can save the day! Cokie knows where Killowat has been restrained because she's a tabloid journalist. This was the era where we all believed Geraldo was going to discover the secret of the universe. Now we know Geraldo's only goal was to uplift Geraldo. That fucker will say anything for praise and a paycheck. I suppose you can say that about anybody who appears on Fox News though. After losing dozens of Titans, I have to admit that my plan would be to give Lazarium the time travel device so we could be rid of him. If he time travels into the future, he's not our problem anymore! Heck, he probably won't ever be our problem! The future no longer contains Lord Chaos so who knows what he's going to find in 2001. If in 1994 I were told that 2001 would be the beginning of some truly inspiring xenophobic bullshit masquerading as patriotism, I would have been all, "Yeah, I can buy that." Maybe that wasn't a good example. Killowat defeats all of Lazarium's henchmen with one push of a button. Then he goes after Lazarium. Lazarium believes he'll win for the same reason all bad guys (and Deathstork (who is a bad guy but sometimes people begin to think maybe he's a good guy who was never actually convicted of statutory rape so is it really rape? (Yes. The answer is yes. I'm answering on behalf of a large percentage of male Americans who would get the answer to this question wrong))) believe they'll win.

Technically it's not rape if you say, "Here! Take it!" I'm just judging by American legal standards which have an even lower bar than that to declare something isn't rape.

Killowat gives Lazarium a bunch of his power which causes Lazarium to overload and explode into a smoking scorch mark on the roof. But we can't believe Killowat has just killed somebody (even though his name depends on the idea that he kills) so he makes sure to think, "The overload couldn't have killed him. His corporeal form must be around here somewhere." Well, wherever Lazarium went, it's clear that this story is winding down, so he's technically defeated. But he would have been back if this comic book hadn't been cancelled in a few more issues! Oh wait! He's back a few pages later so Nightrider can feast on his blood. Now nobody has to worry about Lazarium anymore and nobody cares if Dagon murdered him because what's a vampire supposed to do? Not eat people?! Anyway, the time machine simply opens a black hole in the sky which consumes hundreds of the poorly named Team Titans. Preser Jon shuts it down and now the Titans have to deal with being part of 1994 forever. I mean, at least until the end of the year when they'll have to deal with being a part of 1995 forever. Or for a year, anyway. The final page of this issue reveals the leader and it's definitely not the leader anybody working on this comic book had planned it to be. Instead, it's Monarch because — guess what, motherfuckers?! — it's Zero Hour time! Team Titans #20 Rating: A-. I'm only giving it a high grade because this issue was the start of Zero Hour. Not that Zero Hour isn't a completely flawed premise that was just another gimmick to allow DC's editors to fix shit that the fangenders kept haranguing them on. But it is interesting that this terrible little Titans off-shoot comic book is where DC decided to begin the entire Zero Hour premise. My other favorite part of this is how we find out that Monarch is the Leader. My supposition is that Zero Hour was thought up long after The Leader was already a mysterious presence in this book. I'm sure the writers and editors of this book had an idea about who The Leader should be. Maybe it was Dick Grayson, or Terry Long, or Starfire, or a reintegrated Danny Chase. But it certainly wasn't Monarch which meant they changed the goal line as the story proceeded. Which is a microcosm of what happens during the Zero Hour event! It was obvious throughout much of Zero Hour that Captain Atom was going to wind up being Monarch. But since so many fans had guessed it and expected it, DC decided that instead of continuing with a plot and character arc that made sense, they would simply reveal that Monarch was Hawk. Sure, it was a surprise! But it didn't make any fucking sense. Fucking comic books!

#Team Titans #Teen Titans #DC Comics #Zero Hour #Comic Book Review

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